Maureen Funny Status Messages



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   messageicon tries to read books that will make me look good if I die in the middle of reading them.
←Rate | 04-17-2012 11:31 by Maureen Comments (0)  


   messageicon too busy mopping the floor to turn off the faucet.
←Rate | 09-25-2011 22:49 by Maureen Comments (0)  


   messageicon swears if burn my mouth on ONE MORE PIECE OF PIZZA...I will probably continue to buy and eat pizza for the rest of my life.
←Rate | 08-07-2012 21:29 by Maureen Comments (0)  


   messageicon Just saw that I have one unheard message and I didn't even see my phone ring. I hope it's not work-related or Mel Gibson!
←Rate | 08-13-2012 09:10 by Maureen Comments (0)  


   messageicon Best part of being a grown-up? You can eat ice cream whenever you want!
←Rate | 02-12-2012 16:16 by Maureen Comments (0)  


   messageicon Can you smell that? That's fresh-brewed coffee mixed with Friday...delicious!
←Rate | 02-17-2012 09:28 by Maureen Comments (0)  


   messageicon whenever I want to stop an aggressive salesman, I just interrupt his spiel and ask, "Yes, but does it work on cats?"
←Rate | 02-19-2012 11:29 by Maureen Comments (0)  


   messageicon Etc. – used to make people think you know more about a subject than you actually do!
←Rate | 02-22-2012 15:39 by Maureen Comments (0)  


   messageicon sooo not a control freak - I just happen to know what is best for everyone else and how they should be doing it!
←Rate | 01-03-2011 23:12 by Maureen Comments (0)  


   messageicon Note to self: you never read these notes, so stop writing them.
←Rate | 06-24-2013 20:34 by Maureen Comments (0)  


   messageicon found the difference between being smart and wise: Smart is knowing what to say and wise is knowing whether or not to say it.
←Rate | 03-03-2012 10:02 by Maureen Comments (0)  


   messageicon told my son today, "I believe every single word you say. It's when you put them together to form a sentence that I have an issue!"
←Rate | 12-20-2010 19:36 by Maureen Comments (0)  


   messageicon lowercase letters: just like UPPERCASE letters, but without all the demand for attention
←Rate | 03-05-2012 08:30 by Maureen Comments (0)  


   messageicon "Wish you were here" - me, thinking about the wine that is in the fridge
←Rate | 03-18-2012 00:04 by Maureen Comments (0)  


   messageicon wants to be Oprah"s secret half sister!
←Rate | 01-25-2011 00:13 by Maureen Comments (0)  


   messageicon will be sponsoring a 0.25 mile fun run to raise awareness for people that I wish would just GO AWAY! I'm calling it the Kardashian Dash!
←Rate | 03-03-2012 16:14 by Maureen Comments (0)  


   messageicon would happily join one of these "occupy" movements, if only they were looking to occupy a Dunkin' Donuts.
←Rate | 11-03-2011 10:56 by Maureen Comments (0)  


   messageicon Some of the best decisions I’ve ever made involved me clicking cancel - instead of send.
←Rate | 01-29-2013 10:13 by Maureen Comments (0)  


   messageicon will drink responsibly when someone names a brand of alcohol “Responsibly.”
←Rate | 03-05-2012 08:37 by Maureen Comments (0)  


   messageicon NOT being considered to be a judge on American Idol!
←Rate | 08-03-2010 19:42 by Maureen Comments (0)  



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