JEBI Funny Status Messages



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   messageicon My favorite vegetable is bacon...
←Rate | 01-12-2013 14:20 by JEBI Comments (0)  


   messageicon I just bought the new vi@gra flavor ice cream...its been 4 hours and it still hasn't melted...
←Rate | 11-09-2012 19:09 by JEBI Comments (0)  


   messageicon To the douchebag who pushed me out of the way of the baggage carousel, remember what goes around comes around....
←Rate | 03-06-2013 09:52 by JEBI Comments (0)  


   messageicon And the winner for the best reader of a teleprompter award goes to...
←Rate | 11-07-2012 09:08 by JEBI Comments (0)  


   messageicon I'm going to have three children.. One girl, named Stacey, so my wife can be Stacey's mom.. And she will have it going on.. One boy named Luke, so I can say "Luke, I am your father." and one more boy named Sparta.. So I can introduce him 'THIS IS SPARTAA'
←Rate | 02-26-2013 12:33 by JEBI Comments (0)  


   messageicon If a kid asks where rain comes from, I think a cute thing to tell him is, "God is crying." And if he asks why God is crying, another cute thing to tell him is, "Probably because of something you did."
←Rate | 03-07-2013 11:19 by JEBI Comments (0)  


   messageicon I just got my foot stuck in my wife's bra. I asked her what kind of boobie trap is this? She laughed and I laughed and she asked me never tell another joke for at least a week...
←Rate | 05-09-2014 11:19 by JEBI Comments (0)  


   messageicon I wonder how hard J-LO has to laugh for her ass to fall off?
←Rate | 12-17-2012 15:19 by JEBI Comments (0)  


   messageicon Operator: 911 what's your emergency? Caller: My wifes going into labor, I don't know what to do. Operator: Is this her first born? Caller: No, this is her husband.
←Rate | 05-14-2014 11:09 by JEBI Comments (0)  


   messageicon Dear Justin Bieber, Just because you have money...doesn't mean that you're mature. Grow up, smarten up, or shut the hell up! Thanks, People
←Rate | 01-24-2014 15:44 by JEBI Comments (0)  


   messageicon I got this whole Christmas gifting thing on lock!! I bought my mom a fridge for Xmas a few years ago and still to this day every time she opens it....her face lights up
←Rate | 12-13-2013 12:52 by JEBI Comments (0)  


   messageicon My American friend says he's going to vote for the one who is willing to making the Pringles tubes biggers....as soon as he gets his hand out of one.
←Rate | 11-06-2012 09:13 by JEBI Comments (0)  


   messageicon I think its about time we put the movie 2012 in the comedy section...
←Rate | 01-03-2013 10:39 by JEBI Comments (0)  


   messageicon One time I farted so loud in my sleep they had to stop the bus...
←Rate | 02-07-2013 11:27 by JEBI Comments (0)  


   messageicon Another pair of my socks are getting a divorce...
←Rate | 12-04-2012 11:53 by JEBI Comments (0)  


   messageicon My Oscar speech would begin like this...First and foremost, I would like to thank my legs. Without them I would not be standing here today...
←Rate | 02-26-2013 15:19 by JEBI Comments (0)  


   messageicon Next time your bf/gf get mad attach a cape around their neck and say "Now you're super mad!" If they laugh...marry them...
←Rate | 01-30-2013 11:35 by JEBI Comments (0)  


   messageicon You must be a Jedi Master...cuz yodalicious....
←Rate | 10-04-2013 13:03 by JEBI Comments (0)  


   messageicon My car was stolen last night..I was going to call the police but then I thought 'nevermind...I'll let him try explain the bodies in the trunk...'
←Rate | 05-07-2013 08:20 by JEBI Comments (0)  


   messageicon I just tried on a pair of skinny jeans and accidentally got my balls caught in the zipper and now I know the words to every Bruno Mars song....
←Rate | 04-04-2013 10:52 by JEBI Comments (0)  



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