Aaron Funny Status Messages



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   messageicon I hate people who say "Age is just a number" — Age is clearly a word.
←Rate | 11-29-2012 17:47 by Aaron Comments (0)  


   messageicon If I was a cab driver, I'd whisper "I could have kept you" to passengers before they got out.
←Rate | 03-10-2011 13:52 by Aaron Comments (0)  


   messageicon Those "Speed Enforced by Aircraft" signs don't understand how eager I am to get pulled over by an F-16.
←Rate | 11-01-2011 23:04 by Aaron Comments (0)  


   messageicon I knew she was about to say something intelligent because she began with, "You once told me..."
←Rate | 05-05-2013 12:32 by Aaron Comments (0)  


   messageicon Guess I better get some sleep. I have to get up in 10 minutes.
←Rate | 06-17-2012 14:38 by Aaron Comments (0)  


   messageicon Going to a concert tonight. Doors open at 7pm, according to the ticket. That's a pretty impressive opening act.
←Rate | 01-10-2013 08:19 by Aaron Comments (0)  


   messageicon Life is funny. Well, yours is. To me.
←Rate | 10-10-2010 08:37 by Aaron Comments (0)  


   messageicon I was escorted out of the funeral before I was done high fiving everyone.
←Rate | 10-06-2010 12:09 by Aaron Comments (0)  


   messageicon Look up procrastinator on Wikipedia. There’s a picture of me. Well there isn’t yet, but there will be. Probably by tomorrow. Maybe Tuesday.
←Rate | 06-26-2015 18:31 by Aaron Comments (0)  


   messageicon If you take a trip around the world and calculate the different time zones just right, you can pick yourself up from the airport
←Rate | 11-01-2015 08:04 by Aaron Comments (0)  


   messageicon Sneaking into your house and eating just enough of the marshmallows out of your Lucky Charms to make you sad, but not suspicious.
←Rate | 12-18-2014 12:11 by Aaron Comments (0)  


   messageicon someday i'll get that abacus. you can count on it
←Rate | 01-12-2013 13:58 by Aaron Comments (0)  


   messageicon the answer to this last question will determine whether you are drunk or not....Was Mickey Mouse a cat or a dog?
←Rate | 03-19-2010 21:23 by Aaron Comments (0)  


   messageicon I can tell people are judgmental just by looking at them.
←Rate | 12-01-2012 17:22 by Aaron Comments (0)  


   messageicon One of the cooler things you can do when you die is be buried with an elephant bone, just to confuse future archaeologists.
←Rate | 12-04-2010 09:00 by Aaron Comments (0)  


   messageicon In class: 2+2=4 Homework: 2+4+2=8 Exam: John had 4 apples. He eats one and gives one to a friend. Calculate the Sun's mass.
←Rate | 01-19-2012 20:00 by Aaron Comments (0)  


   messageicon "We are upping our standards... so up yours!"
←Rate | 04-17-2010 17:27 by Aaron Comments (0)  


   messageicon A homeless guy asked me for 50 cents for a sandwich. I said, "First lemme see the sandwich."
←Rate | 09-08-2011 10:19 by Aaron Comments (0)  


   messageicon I just poured superglue into a non-stick pan.Somebody is going to be wrong.
←Rate | 11-25-2010 19:13 by Aaron Comments (4)  


   messageicon Would it kill Barney to just eat a kid every now and then?
←Rate | 06-26-2011 23:44 by Aaron Comments (0)  


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