Funny Status Messages and Tweets
Funny Status Messages for Facebook, Discord, and Whatsapp and funny tweets for Twitter.
Page: 4989 of 6370
Too often we want what we cant have... but those who suffer the most are those who don't know what they want.
On a scale from 1 to Rebecca Black how is my singing?
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04-11-2011 15:38 by S
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This unicorn sitting next to me is saying that I drank too much.
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04-11-2011 15:25 by hovo
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life is all bout ass... you're either kissing it, behaving like it, covering it, working it off, or trying to get a piece of it.
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04-11-2011 15:23 by hovo
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( o )( o ) - oh what a nice pair of frog eyes! what were you thinking of?
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04-11-2011 15:22 by hovo
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Can't wait for the Vancouver Canucks to beat Chicago in this years Stanley Cup playoffs! :)
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04-11-2011 14:42
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Dear Monday, Please don't be a snatch today. Please pass on the message to the rest of the week...Thanks
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04-11-2011 14:13 by Rherrera
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equal pay for equal work ---> equal work for equal pay...as of 9 APR that equals zero. Until we are retroactively paid, I will retroactively work.
hates people who try to straighten their glasses with grimaces
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04-11-2011 13:59
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Guy: God, how long is a million years to you? God: A minute. Guy: How much is a million dollars to you? God: A penny. Guy: Can I have a penny? God: In a minute
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04-11-2011 13:46 by Justin
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"Why does Sea World have a seafood restaurant?? I'm halfway through my fish burger this afternoon and I realize, Oh man....I could be eating a slow learner."
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04-11-2011 13:46 by hovo
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When I go on deployments, I have my friends send me Jack Daniels in a Listerine bottle.
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04-11-2011 13:45
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Went to this mexican restaurant for dinner ... It had pronounciations of each item ... Nachos (Na-choos) Buritto (Bur-ee-toe) Taco (Ta-Koe), never laughed so hard in my life! Side note: It was attached to a bowling alley ... awesome
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04-11-2011 13:45 by hovo
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Jack Daniels.
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04-11-2011 13:42
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When I see a kid about 4 - 7 years old with a mullet I can almost guarantee you there is a meth lab at his house and I would just like to go smack his parents!!
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04-11-2011 13:08 by urboyblue
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Sophisticated…Aerodynamic…Incredibly Powerful, yet responsive to lightweight handling
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04-11-2011 12:10
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People who take the elevator up one floor should wear signs reading "I quit trying at life long ago."
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04-11-2011 12:03 by Aaron
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Starting to doubt if Lage Gaga is a drag queen
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04-11-2011 11:50
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I'm thinking about getting a dog from Asia. Instead of eating your homework, they actually do it for you.
offensive and creative like handicap porn…
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04-11-2011 10:44 by Michael
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