Funny Status Messages and Tweets

   Shouln't the Monday after Easter Sunday be known as Egg Salad Monday?

   Happy first Sunday following the full moon that occurs on or following the Vernal Equinox!

   OMG! Jesus is back! .... Hide the eggs!

   She said "Harder!" I did that. She said "Faster!" I did that. She said "Deeper!" I philosophized.

   The hottest places in hell are reserved for those who, in times of great moral crisis, maintain their neutrality.

   We the unwilling, led by the unqualified, are doing the impossible for the ungrateful.

   We have just enough Religion to make us hate, but not enough to make us love one another.

   If you believe you can tell me what to think, I believe I can tell you where to go.

   Morality is doing what is right no matter what you are told. Religion is doing what you are told no matter what is right.

   How Many Roads Must A Man Walk Down Before He Admits Hes lost?

   People who want to share their religious views with you almost never want you to share yours with them.

   There is a very fine line between "hobby" and "mental illness".

   Thought I put my finger on something good, but its snot.

   I see you poked me. I assume you are DTF?

   there a video feed in my bedroom that I don't know about? All these people talking about "He is risen" are making me suspicious this morning...

   If you read this, I'm SMART. If you like this, you agree that I'm SMART. If you copy and paste this, you are spreading that I'm SMART & if you don't like this, you are jealous coz I'm SMART!

   CONSEQUENCES OF TODAY'S MODERN LIFE STYLES: The wife rushed into house screaming to her husband: Darling, Come quick! Your kids and my kids are beating our kids!

   I Haven't been to church in a couple years, sure hope I don't catch on fire........

   If I ever die because of marijuana, mark on my grave, “I am too stoned to get up!”

   going rabbit hunting