Funny Status Messages and Tweets
Funny Status Messages for Facebook, Discord, and Whatsapp and funny tweets for Twitter.
Page: 4835 of 6370
The question isn't "Will Sarah Palin run in 2012?", it's "Who will be President in 2014 when she quits?"..
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05-28-2011 11:00
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Its better to have a long distance relationship as phone calls are cheaper than fuel prices
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05-28-2011 06:27
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Oh, there's so much nudity on TV, I just sit there shaking my fist.
I'm a little disappointed.. I set three boobytraps last night and didn't catch any!
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05-28-2011 01:01
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Loving my new underwear...at least somethings gripping my ass
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05-28-2011 00:50 by Brett
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Can you imagine how fast those clowns who make balloon animals can roll a joint.
If you are talking behind my back you are in a great position to kiss my a@s
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05-28-2011 00:00 by BEGO
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When girls or any women ask you "What?" In reply, it isnt cause they didnt hear you. Its because they giving you a CHANCE to CHANGE what you just said.
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05-27-2011 23:55 by BEGO
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Snookie is so small and orange she works part time as a highway traffic cone!
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05-27-2011 23:53
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"God has a sense of humor. Don't believe me?... go to Walmart and just look at people."
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05-27-2011 23:52 by BEGO
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I only date Calendars.
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05-27-2011 23:26 by Mahdi H
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I wish some people could just look at there own true colors of there character and see what an ugly picture they are painting with it.
One skin,Two skin,Three skin,Fore skin.....wait a minute...........
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05-27-2011 22:43
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What do you call a vegetarian lesbian? A woman who REALLY hates meat!
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05-27-2011 21:25 by Demonik
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Ever see someone in a hurry and they do that last little mad dash to their final destination? How much time does that save.....2.3 seconds?
There █████ █ ████ is ███ █ no █████ █ ████ problem █ ████ █████ █ ████ everything ███ █████ is█████ ████ ████ fine ████ ██
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05-27-2011 19:23
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A Hickey from Kenicki is like a hallmark card...when you care enough to send the very best!! RIP JEFF CONWAY!!!
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05-27-2011 18:32
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Thanksgiving is a day when we pause to give thanks for the things we have.....MEMORIAL DAY is a day when we pause to give thanks to the people who fought for the things we have.
The awkard moment where you say, "it's not me, it's you"....via text
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05-27-2011 16:26
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kill illuminati. they want my soul, my mind, and my body.
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05-27-2011 16:13
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