Funny Status Messages and Tweets
Funny Status Messages for Facebook, Discord, and Whatsapp and funny tweets for Twitter.
Page: 4814 of 6371
I went outside once.... The graphics were alright, but the gameplay sucked
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06-05-2011 14:28
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maybe jfraze should read the homepage that sais statuses for facebook...just sayin....Love not anger..
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06-05-2011 14:08
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i think i'd have to be pretty hammered to see Thor
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06-05-2011 13:47 by levon
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Today's excuse for drinking beer: "I wanted some beer."
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06-05-2011 13:23
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i wish there was a friend, who could help me as much, as music does
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06-05-2011 13:09 by BreAsia
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I liked The Hangover II more the first time I saw it. When it was called The Hangover.
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06-05-2011 12:41
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Was going to complain about the people downstairs having loud s*x, but they finished before I could type this status, I think premature ejaculation is probably punishment enough
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06-05-2011 12:26
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That awkward moment when you and the girl you just met ran out of things to talk.
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06-05-2011 11:43
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BAD DAY I feel like Kylie Minogue - but without the fame, talent or charisma. OMG! I'm Danni Minogue!!
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06-05-2011 11:09
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I dream in High Definition.
I'm so hungry I could eat the A$$ end out of a rag doll.
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06-05-2011 10:30
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If you don't like my tweets then don't follow me. And if you don't like losing then don't follow Lakers.
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06-05-2011 09:35
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That Awkward Moment when you realise the person you dating has always looked like that. You just never noticed cause you were whipped!
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06-05-2011 09:33
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Can you tell when your statuses are lame? Yes, But unlike parents of an ugly baby, I can disown my status.
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06-05-2011 09:29
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As a parent, can you really not tell if your baby is ugly?
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06-05-2011 09:27
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There's so many ways the world could end. Like maybe Dinosaurs come back from holiday & kill us all.
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06-05-2011 09:17
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The Pope has called life in Germany under the Nazi's a "dark time". Altar boys have called life in Germany UNDER Priests "hurty hurty time".
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06-05-2011 09:16
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Air Force - A pair of Nike shoes or, what Darth Vader calls his farts.
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06-05-2011 09:14
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I think you are funny. My girlfriend thinks you are hot, all of a sudden you not so funny anymore
if only 3 people live in my house... why is there 7 toothbrushes?
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06-05-2011 06:36
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