Funny Status Messages and Tweets

   As the first chilean miner came to the surface he was quick to celebrate his 'rock paper scissors' championship 2010.

   I cannot be held responsible for anything you may have told me before I had my coffee.

   too large for worry, too noble for anger, and too strong for fear

   santaclaustrophobia.

   Yes guys the colors are bra colors they are wearing...it is for breast cancer awareness...Just tell them you give free mammograms or that NUDE is a color...HA

   i hate when horoscopes are right even more then when I hate when they are wrong

   Waves hand " This is not the Facebook Profile you want."

   thinks. Of all the places to get changed in secret, why the funk would superman choose a small box in the middle of a built up city which to be fair is mainly made up of windows.

   I'm just trying to help everyone with the hacker post. I had a guy named Phua Soon Hock trying to hack me!

   wonders WHY it actually became politically correct to advertise about erectile dysfunction? It kinda makes you think about such things when your nine year old asks what "an erection lasting 24 hours or longer" is. Uhhhh, whut?

   there is a thin line between sanity and insanity...and I just snorted it.

   I've always been suspicious of people who operate their Christmas lights after New Years day.

   “Censorship is telling a man he can't have a steak just because a baby can't chew it.” - Mark Twain

   My eighty year old neighbor neither agreed with or could conceive the foreign idea of the “I before E” rule isn't that weird .

   it me or does that guy with the golden voice look like mac tonight ?

   just saw Scott Pilgrim Vs. The World, should have been called Scott Pilgrim Vs. The IRS; because the rate of money they lost I expect he will be fighting them off for years.

   thinks life is like a rubix cube. Some people have the patience to solve it and the others just cheat to see how others do it

   There's a right time to mind; and a right time to nevermind......

   Men..can't live with them..can't bury them in the back yard without the neighbors getting suspicious.

   A woman who thinks no man is good enough for her may be right.... But she is more often left.