Funny Status Messages and Tweets
Funny Status Messages for Facebook, Discord, and Whatsapp and funny tweets for Twitter.
Page: 4812 of 6370
If there was some kind of memory disease, I would be on stage 10
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06-05-2011 18:36
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Here is a episode for mythbusters------do fat chicks really give better head
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06-05-2011 18:35 by ha ha ha
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I saw on the television today that Huggies diaper's have come out with a new Levi design.What's next, bib-overall depend's for grandpa?....
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06-05-2011 18:29
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Cheese Doritos are like cheese covered razors if you chew a moth full to fast
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06-05-2011 17:57
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I'm sad my kids have left to Summer Camp for 2 weeks. I no longer have an excuse to watch iCarly while they're gone...
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06-05-2011 17:46 by BRian
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My mom says you are what you eat. That's funny, because I haven't eaten any sexy beasts recently. ;)
I'm not sayin you are stupid, I just said that you have bad luck when you're thinking.
My day is not complete until I get someone to shake their head.
My girlfriend loves it when I talk dirty to her during sex. I'm pissed off at her though, so tonight when we make love I'm going to tell her how beautiful she is.
I just got diagnosed with a very rare disease. "The more I get older, the sexier and better looking I become". Don't worry, it's not contagious. There's no cure for it and it just gets worst everyday...
If you can go the entire car ride without eating some of your french fries, you're obviously some type of sorcerer.
When society collapses, who do I talk to about being killed last?
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06-05-2011 16:39
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What if we CAN breathe in space and they just don't want us to escape?
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06-05-2011 15:40
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I went for a self-defence class last night. The instructor said, "I want you to take me by surprise and attack me" So when I saw him in Sainsburys the next day I threw a tin of beans at his head.
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06-05-2011 15:25 by @clarkysj
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If I had a nickel for every time someone said I'm bad at math, I'd have 47 cents.
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06-05-2011 15:20 by seddy90
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Taco bell always makes me wonder, who ate this burrito before I did.
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06-05-2011 15:14
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quit telling me how addictive the things I ingest are...you know what else is addictive?!!?! EFFIN FOOD..if you stop eating you will have withdraws too!! FREAKS!!
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06-05-2011 14:54
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How come there are never any restrooms in my dreams!
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06-05-2011 14:50 by BRian
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I went outside once.... The graphics were alright, but the gameplay sucked
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06-05-2011 14:28
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maybe jfraze should read the homepage that sais statuses for facebook...just sayin....Love not anger..
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06-05-2011 14:08
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