Funny Status Messages and Tweets
Funny Status Messages for Facebook, Discord, and Whatsapp and funny tweets for Twitter.
Page: 48 of 6387
Justice Thomas to the Media: “I will absolutely leave the Court when I do my job as poorly as you do yours.”
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05-17-2022 06:07
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Yeah drugs are cool, but have you ever had ice water at 2:00am?
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04-30-2022 15:41
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Hold fast friends, the developmentally challenged cream puff would like to submit another unintelligible contribution.
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05-23-2022 02:07
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From now on, I’m telling prospective employers that I was the General Manager at Toy’s-R-Us. Who tf they gonna call?
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07-06-2022 00:21
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Keep your relationship private so you can have two.
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04-14-2022 01:58 by daflip01
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Education is learning what you didn’t even know you didn’t know.
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07-28-2022 01:20
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My uncle had his back covered in lard. After that, he went down hill fast.
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04-08-2022 23:55
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“Do you moan or cuss?” Depends on how good the food is, usually both.
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04-12-2022 21:51
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Judge rules that airplane passengers no longer need to pretend to be eating for 5 straight hours.
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04-22-2022 23:22
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They say marriages are made in Heaven. But so is thunder and lightning.
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08-05-2022 02:15
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Mike who cheese Harry
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08-10-2024 00:02
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Remember, today is the tomorrow you worried about yesterday.
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07-28-2022 01:20
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Love means having to say you’re sorry every fifteen minutes.
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08-08-2022 03:00
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I thought I was wrong once, but I was mistaken.
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08-08-2022 03:03
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If you try to fail, and succeed, which have you done?
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08-15-2022 07:54
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Tapping our oil reserves instead of drilling is as dumb as tapping your 401k instead of going to work.
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04-04-2022 05:35
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If you want to look thin, hang out with fat people.
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08-04-2022 01:33
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There is a voice that doesn’t use words, listen.
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05-09-2022 02:27
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Roses are red, violets are blue, wish it didn’t have to be like this, but it do
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04-12-2022 17:14
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Drinking 8 cups of water seems impossible, but 8 cups of coffee goes down like a chubby kid on a seesaw.
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07-22-2022 02:21
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