Funny Status Messages and Tweets
Funny Status Messages for Facebook, Discord, and Whatsapp and funny tweets for Twitter.
Page: 4783 of 6369
Back in my day there were only 151 Pokémon...
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06-15-2011 12:15 by jejox
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I would have emailed sooner, but my cat ate my mouse.
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06-15-2011 15:36 by J. BIAZA
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Just Because You Know My Name Doesn't Mean You KNOW Me
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06-26-2011 00:46
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Trying to forget someone who once beat the crap out of you is like trying to remember someone you never met
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03-25-2011 07:16 by AC
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Life without bears would be unbearable
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04-05-2011 08:42
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hates it when someone constantly complains about the town they live it. Here's a thought.....move if you don't like it! But quit your bit#&ing!
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11-13-2010 09:25
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wondering what all the Vegitarians are doing for Thanksgiving.
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11-24-2010 10:19 by Steve OH
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This job thing is for the birds, how does one go about signing up for the welfare?
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12-09-2010 15:39 by SeanyB
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never, ever, ever under any circumstances take a laxative and sleeping pill on the same night
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07-19-2010 21:13
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made two batches of brownies at a friend's house, one plain and one special. accidentally brought the wrong batch home to my very mormon mother. she's laughing her ass off at george carlin right now
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07-22-2010 22:26
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Brett Favre was fined $50,000. That's a slap on the back of the hand. They didn't want to slap the front because God knows where it's been recently.
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12-30-2010 11:25 by WOAH
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Lady at the table next time mine just told the waiter "Oh, I just wanted one teabag with that." I'm holding back the laughter.
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12-30-2010 13:21
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If you were naked in bed, laying between Cheryl Cole and Alan Carr, which one would you face and which one would you turn your back to?
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01-09-2011 07:26 by @clarkysj
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can't stand on his own because he's too-tired and a bicycle can't stand on its own because it's two-tired
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12-24-2009 11:05 by Mmz
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Happy Chinese New year!! It is the year of the Tiger. I can think of one Tiger who isn't having a good year.
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02-14-2010 22:19
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Fine Arts < Real Education
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02-25-2010 11:44
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Be careful the bridges you burn today may be the very ones you will one day have to cross!
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03-03-2010 23:14
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so awesome, even my Camaro says Iroc!
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08-24-2010 20:49 by jables
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Apparently saying you're gay with excitement about going to the Texas Rodeo is a poor choice of words
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09-12-2010 19:14
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..doesn't understand people who say "by now.." As in "by now you should have children,.by now you should be married..by now you should.." Sorry but if "by now" i'll "pay later".