Funny Status Messages and Tweets
Funny Status Messages for Facebook, Discord, and Whatsapp and funny tweets for Twitter.
Page: 4776 of 6370
Next time you use the bathroom, take your pants off, hang them over the side of the stall and randomly shout out "RELEASE THE KRACKEN!" Let people know you mean business!
I like to write a bunch of nonsense on Facebook walls when I'm drunk and announce the next day that my account was hacked.
I wonder if we're "homed people" to them...
It's not my fault that my phone is more interesting than you.
wonders why other peoples dumps smell worse then your own.
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06-15-2011 12:38
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says As a young child Bell, Biv, Devoe taught me the most important life lesson----Never trust a big butt and a smile....that girl is poison
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06-15-2011 12:21
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Back in my day there were only 151 Pokémon...
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06-15-2011 12:15 by jejox
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Every girl wants to be the one that makes a player quit the game. But sometimes that's like being the zebra that wants to turn a lion into a vegetarian.
So, I'm single again, this time with no intentions of looking for another girl, this time I'm letting her find me.
you can always tell if there's a police car in our area... Everyone in our street flushes their toilets at the same time!
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06-15-2011 12:01 by miz
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I totally take back all those times I didn't want to nap when I was younger.
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06-15-2011 12:00 by Dopey420
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Lets cut to the chase here...How much will it cost me to get laid around here?
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06-15-2011 11:34
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She called it off because she found out she wasn't in the will.
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06-15-2011 10:14
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Don't worry Hef, Playmates are like buses, another one will come along in 30minutes.
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06-15-2011 10:11
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Hugh Hefner dumped at the alter! Thats sad after he wasted those whole 2 months getting to know her.
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06-15-2011 10:09
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let's jump to 2050, when I'm at the bingo hall checking out the hot little number with the walker and tramp stamp
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06-15-2011 09:50 by Judge Coe
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Calling all my ex girlfriends today to tell them I have herpes. I don't really have it, I just don't want any of them to sleep with other people.
There'd be less accidents if there was a texting lane.
just bought a new pack of socks to avoid doing laundry tonight.
Love...it takes hostages and shows zero remorse.