Funny Status Messages and Tweets
Funny Status Messages for Facebook, Discord, and Whatsapp and funny tweets for Twitter.
Search Messages:
If google is great why cant I find my sanity?? 
has been trying to plug the keyboard from his PC into his HI-FI system. Call me stupid if you want but that would just be stereo typing
trying to figure out a way to text 'off' to my alarm so I don't have to get up.
Love the moment. Flowers grow out of dark moments. Therefore, each moment is vital. It affects the whole. Life is a succession of such moments and to live each, is to succeed.
she didn't think it was as funny when her plans for a Dutch Oven backfired.
How many crap loads are there in a sh*t ton again? cuz that's exactly how Cleveland feels like right now...
Watching tear jerker movies and eating big bowls of ice cream .. anybody got a Tampax ?
The difference between me and R. Kelly is that when I pee on people I am swimming in a lake.
BONG: what you put the flowers in when then cops drive by. lol
I still stop conversations to join in for that "Hey! Must be the money!" part of the song.
I just went on a Facebook poking spree.
you know your getting old when respond to you with, "Really! At your age?!?"
Dear A+. You are the most beautiful grade of them all... Thank you for visiting... Please hang out with me more often... We belong together... I will never tire of looking at you...
....and now the sequence of events in no particular order
wants a shag in front of the fire and one night stand, better head to Ikea
"Porn Actor Kills Colleague With Prop Weapon." It was apparently not a banana in his pocket, nor was he happy to see him.
I asked my co-worker if he think he's going to Heaven. He said, "Hell yea!"......
Never think of the past it brings tears, If you think of the future it brings fears, so live life in the present & drink chilled BEERS Bon Okterber Fest
what it's all about... TAKE THAT HOKIE POKIE!
I dont believe in Santa...but with no money in my pocket ....I think I will change my opinion about him..... 