Funny Status Messages and Tweets
Funny Status Messages for Facebook, Discord, and Whatsapp and funny tweets for Twitter.
Page: 4720 of 6371
Now thinking that I had the 455.00 back that I spent on fireworks....
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07-05-2011 10:45 by Rick H.
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Going to: ❒ Paris ❒ New York ❒ London ✔ KITCHEN, I'm hungry
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07-05-2011 10:22 by RoN
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There should be realtionship status that says,"I don`t even know what`s going on"
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07-05-2011 10:20 by RoN
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I hate running out of deodorant......with 1 armpit left to go
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07-05-2011 10:16
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You wanna know the definition of deductive reasoning? I've deduced that the fatter the chick, the more boring the facebook page.
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07-05-2011 09:12
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She might be ugly now, but wait a few more drinks.
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07-05-2011 06:21
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People are so predictable..I bet you're even reading this status right now.
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07-05-2011 06:12 by flinnie
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We could learn from crayons. Some are sharp, some dull, some pretty, some have weird names, and all are different colours... but they all live in the same box.
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07-05-2011 06:12
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Unwritten Facebook rule #5 : If that person isn't in the photo, don't tag them.
DUDE I WASN'T THAT DRUNK! Dude, you were shaking pineapples yelling "Spongebob, I know you're in there!"
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07-05-2011 02:26
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oh mr bean burrito, why do you hate me so?
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07-04-2011 23:54
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I like watching hoarders...it makes my house look clean
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07-04-2011 23:26 by wayne
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Constitution signed [X] Morons taking over and ruining it [X] ... We gotta fix this country.
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07-04-2011 23:21
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"I wasn't that Drunk.." "Dude, you threw a bird at the police and screamed go angry bird kill those pigs!"
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07-04-2011 21:49 by BEGO
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We used to be the same person... Who tho hell are you?
The two favorite buttons I LOVE on Facebook: "Hide all posts from this person" and "Hide friend request".
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07-04-2011 21:47 by BEGO
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Okay, I haven't seen a damn spider around here in like three days...What the hell are they planning??
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07-04-2011 21:43 by BEGO
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Because of the poor economy, we couldn't afford fireworks. The only snap, crackle, and pop at our house yesterday was when I poured milk on a bowl of Rice Krispies.
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07-04-2011 21:38 by BEGO
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In wine there is wisdom, in beer there is freedom, in water there is damn bacteria.
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07-04-2011 21:37 by BEGO
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Let the fireworks begin!!!
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07-04-2011 21:23 by 706
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