Funny Status Messages and Tweets
Funny Status Messages for Facebook, Discord, and Whatsapp and funny tweets for Twitter.
Page: 4640 of 6384
Fact checking is hate speech!
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01-12-2020 18:10
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Me: I guess I’ll take four dollars Wendy’s Drive thru cashier: That’s not how the dollar menu works
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01-24-2020 07:00
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Hey, I ain't bragging, but pretty much every pot I've ever watched has boiled.
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01-27-2020 08:00 by Fazzy
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Remember: when you kiss someone's elbow, you're also kissing the gut of every person they've ever elbowed.
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01-28-2020 06:14
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¡ʎɐqǝ uo pɹɐoqʎǝʞ ɐ ʎnq I ǝɯᴉʇ ʇsɐl ǝɥʇ sᴉ sᴉɥʇ
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01-29-2020 10:43 by Moon
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YAY! Mr. Peanut back.
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02-02-2020 19:54 by STARMAN
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Hooters is not closing per se. It's going strictly delivery. It's changing its name to "Knockers"...
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02-15-2020 23:44 by Fazzy
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I'm so old I remember when the Beatles where are the New Kids on the Block.
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02-19-2020 23:45
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Who's the most popular guy at the nudist camp? The one carrying two pots of coffee and a dozen donuts.
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03-07-2020 20:05 by Fazzy
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Virus or no virus, cruises hold no appeal for me. It's akin to a 5 star house arrest that's centered around overeating, which I can do quite well in the comfort of my own home.
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03-08-2020 10:18 by Fazzy
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By the reactions below, this is a group of major pole buffers.
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03-09-2020 06:59
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So by always grabbing extra Chipotle napkins along with saving a huge variety of different non-perishable condiments from restaurants over the years make me a prepper?
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03-23-2020 00:03
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Kenny Rogers checking out during an apocalypse is the biggest knowing when to Hold'em knowing when to Fold'em I've ever seen.
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03-23-2020 15:21
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Do you know who this Shelter in Place is gotta be hard for.. bullies. They are stuck at home, they can't physically intimidate any kids, must remain 4-6 feet from anyone. Time for us victims to stand up ..
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03-23-2020 23:08
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Folks, can we stop arguing over what to label the virus? Here, allow me to break down the acronym... COVID-19: CO=Chocolate Oreos. VI=6 dozen. D=Dunk them in milk. 19=The avg. number of lbs. gained during quarantine.
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03-24-2020 07:50
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We need guns to protect ourselves from the Coronavirus.
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03-27-2020 01:30
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It’s so hard to explain puns to an atheist. They take everything literally
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03-29-2020 09:52
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Living in a time when '3 squares' means more than just food.
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04-03-2020 12:51
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I think we all need to be on the same page on this: are we telling kids that the Easter Bunny died of Corona Virus or that Carole Baskin killed him?
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04-07-2020 07:17
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Customer: Do you guys have wings? Me, working in a food truck: just the wheels.
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04-18-2020 06:58
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