Funny Status Messages and Tweets

Funny Status Messages for Facebook, Discord, and Whatsapp and funny tweets for Twitter.

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   messageicon Relationship Goals: Wanna come over and nap?
←Rate | 02-11-2016 20:28 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Please Take Note: A Hogwarts degree isn't worth much in 2016.
←Rate | 02-11-2016 20:30 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I've got two tickets to Crazy Town. Who wants one?
←Rate | 02-16-2016 15:33 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Nothing like the days when you'd tell your parents you were at a sleepover, instead you'd feel like dying in a field from drinking too much vodka.
←Rate | 02-23-2016 00:55 Comments (0)  


   messageicon The doctor said, I need to drink more whiskey....also I am now calling myself "The Doctor" now!
←Rate | 02-24-2016 04:10 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Sorry I fed your baby trash, I thought it was a raccoon
←Rate | 03-12-2016 07:15 Comments (0)  


   messageicon It's wierd, when my pet elephant comes into the room.. nobody talks about it.
←Rate | 03-12-2016 18:43 Comments (0)  


   messageicon If there's a Joe Smoe from Idaho. He must be pi$$ed off !
←Rate | 03-17-2016 18:36 by JAB Comments (0)  


   messageicon Springing forward sounds way more fun than it is.
←Rate | 03-18-2016 14:48 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Exercise makes you look better naked, so does tequila. Perhaps it's time to try both....
←Rate | 03-19-2016 15:18 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Diet Dedication: When the chicken on your Subway salad kinda tastes like fish, but you eat it anyways because worse comes to worst, you'll just lose a few more pounds.
←Rate | 03-24-2016 13:32 by @truebeachbabe Comments (0)  


   messageicon Oh I so enjoy reading on weekend nights on things that I could have been doing.
←Rate | 04-04-2016 01:44 Comments (0)  


   messageicon wants you to know that he has decided to accept you as you are, that does not necessarily mean that he has completely given up on you amounting to something someday.....
←Rate | 04-07-2016 18:23 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Being a baby would be fun. I mean aside from not being able to lift the weight of your own head. But the eating every 1-2 hours..THAT seems like fun.
←Rate | 04-11-2016 11:25 by Fazella Comments (0)  


   messageicon You’d be in good shape.…if you ran as much as your mouth.
←Rate | 04-14-2016 06:26 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Some @$$ hole licked their thumb before handing me a paper. I hope my story inspires other victims to come forward.
←Rate | 04-20-2016 09:44 Comments (0)  


   messageicon "I'm sorry" and "My bad" mean the same thing unless you're at a funeral.
←Rate | 04-21-2016 07:49 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Please dont let Lifetime tell Prince's story... After what they did to Aliyah and Whitney....
←Rate | 04-21-2016 17:50 Comments (0)  


   messageicon All music is dance music if you're bored enough.
←Rate | 04-28-2016 08:45 Comments (0)  


   messageicon What if Peter Parker had gotten bit by a radioactive squirrel?
←Rate | 05-03-2016 16:35 Comments (0)  




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