Funny Status Messages and Tweets
Funny Status Messages for Facebook, Discord, and Whatsapp and funny tweets for Twitter.
Page: 4632 of 6446

Relationship Goals: Wanna come over and nap?
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02-11-2016 20:28
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Please Take Note: A Hogwarts degree isn't worth much in 2016.
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02-11-2016 20:30
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I've got two tickets to Crazy Town. Who wants one?
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02-16-2016 15:33
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Nothing like the days when you'd tell your parents you were at a sleepover, instead you'd feel like dying in a field from drinking too much vodka.
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02-23-2016 00:55
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The doctor said, I need to drink more whiskey....also I am now calling myself "The Doctor" now!
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02-24-2016 04:10
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Sorry I fed your baby trash, I thought it was a raccoon
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03-12-2016 07:15
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It's wierd, when my pet elephant comes into the room.. nobody talks about it.
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03-12-2016 18:43
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If there's a Joe Smoe from Idaho. He must be pi$$ed off !
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03-17-2016 18:36 by JAB
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Springing forward sounds way more fun than it is.
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03-18-2016 14:48
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Exercise makes you look better naked, so does tequila. Perhaps it's time to try both....
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03-19-2016 15:18
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Diet Dedication: When the chicken on your Subway salad kinda tastes like fish, but you eat it anyways because worse comes to worst, you'll just lose a few more pounds.

Oh I so enjoy reading on weekend nights on things that I could have been doing.
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04-04-2016 01:44
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wants you to know that he has decided to accept you as you are, that does not necessarily mean that he has completely given up on you amounting to something someday.....
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04-07-2016 18:23
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Being a baby would be fun. I mean aside from not being able to lift the weight of your own head. But the eating every 1-2 hours..THAT seems like fun.
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04-11-2016 11:25 by Fazella
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You’d be in good shape.…if you ran as much as your mouth.
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04-14-2016 06:26
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Some @$$ hole licked their thumb before handing me a paper. I hope my story inspires other victims to come forward.
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04-20-2016 09:44
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"I'm sorry" and "My bad" mean the same thing unless you're at a funeral.
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04-21-2016 07:49
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Please dont let Lifetime tell Prince's story... After what they did to Aliyah and Whitney....
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04-21-2016 17:50
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All music is dance music if you're bored enough.
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04-28-2016 08:45
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What if Peter Parker had gotten bit by a radioactive squirrel?
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05-03-2016 16:35
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