love Funny Status Messages

   Me In 2016 Shaking An Magic 8 Ball: "Will I find love this year?" Magic 8 Ball says, "Hahaha get a cat." D'oh!!!

   Marriage, Year one: I love watching you shave. You’re so cute! Marriage, year ten: You leave whiskers in that sink one more time and I’ll drown you in it

   If you love someone, set them free. If they come back with the police then setting them free was probably a bad idea.

   'All you need is love.' and an IQ low enough to believe that....

   UNITED: We love to fight,,, and it shows. ..

   Choose a job you love and you will never work a day in your life because that field isn't hiring.

   ..... LOVE comes Naturally ........ HATE .... is learned .....

   As you Mature... you learn that you can't make someone love you. All you can do is stalk them, hope they panic and give in.

   I can't imagine anyone let alone the B-52's walked outta the Love Shack STD free.

   Things I like about Autumn is slipping on a leaf that was hiding a piece of dog poop beneath it. Love that!!!

   I'd love to hang out with you, but this nap isn't going to take itself.

   My wife thinks I cook our meals cause I love her. Really, it's cause I'm afraid she might try to poison me.

   ME: (meeting the devil) I love your eggs.

   She said "My love life is complicated." I said "No, nuclear physics is complicated. You're just a slut."

   You wake up from a coma only to realize everyone you love has abandoned you because they went through your phone while you were out.

   It's not so much that I love karate as that I hate wooden - planks!

   I love Halloween. You get free candy without having to get into anyone's van.

   Nothing says' I love my dog' quite like spending more money on his haircut than you do your own.

   I love the summer because I love how my ass and thighs form an irreparable bond with the car's scorching hot leather seat

   Love waking up to the sound of birds arguing with their spouses.