Funny Status Messages and Tweets
Funny Status Messages for Facebook, Discord, and Whatsapp and funny tweets for Twitter.
Page: 4551 of 6371
Stop hating, quit judging, initiate living, start loving.
←Rate |
08-28-2011 09:53
Comments (0)
It not such a big deal when an adult doesn't like you, but when a baby doesn't like you, it's devastating !
←Rate |
08-28-2011 09:52
Comments (0)
Don't let Facebook fool you, we're NOT friends !
←Rate |
08-28-2011 09:49
Comments (0)
I hate it when you have to act happy & smile when you really just wanna punch that person in the face.
←Rate |
08-28-2011 09:42
Comments (0)
eating chocolate+ shooting singing cats with my water gun= happiness
←Rate |
08-28-2011 09:30 by mtravica
Comments (0)
Don't talk that sh*t on the internet, then get as quiet as a library when you see me in person.
←Rate |
08-28-2011 09:21
Comments (0)
If more people...instead of stirring the pot, would smoke it...the world would be a happier place.
←Rate |
08-28-2011 09:20 by Mick F
Comments (0)
Beauty is not make up.
←Rate |
08-28-2011 09:20 by The VOICE
Comments (0)
I broke up with my cross-eyed girlfriend today ... that b*tch was seeing someone else.
←Rate |
08-28-2011 09:06 by BAD GUY
Comments (0)
Catch her coming out the bathroom from that morning shower and give her a reason to go back in and take another one
←Rate |
08-28-2011 08:50 by NO BODY
Comments (0)
The guy working the Drive Thru Window was a real smarta$$. Thankfully he got my order right so at least he wasn't a real dumba$$ too.
←Rate |
08-28-2011 08:49 by JBabcock
Comments (0)
Not all wannabe gangster wear the pants hanging down and chase girls at the mall. Most amazingly enough, are on facebook, are middle aged and post annoying requests on my wall to play Mafia Wars.
←Rate |
08-28-2011 08:44 by JBabcock
Comments (0)
I'm only on FB for fun. Please stop trying to manipulate me into reposting your sappy dumba$$ status update.
←Rate |
08-28-2011 08:39 by JBabcock
Comments (0)
Why is it that when your not supposed to laugh everything is HILARIOUS?
←Rate |
08-28-2011 08:34 by JBabcock
Comments (0)
A Sunday school teacher once saw me leave a door wide open and asked "Were you born in a Barn?!" She shut up real quick when I replied "You mean like JESUS?!!!"
←Rate |
08-28-2011 08:33 by JBabcock
Comments (0)
What do you call a robot that wears sh1t clothes? - Optimus Primark.
←Rate |
08-28-2011 08:31 by @clarkysj
Comments (0)
My nieghbor told me she had the smartest dog in the nieghborhood. "He always gets my paper and my slippers for me". I told her "I know my dog told me and I can't get her to quit describing your dogs bad breath."
←Rate |
08-28-2011 08:30 by JBabcock
Comments (0)
The only thing wrong with eary mornings is being awake.
←Rate |
08-28-2011 08:26 by JBabcock
Comments (0)
Whoever said "Good things come to those who wait" has never stood in my long a$$ line.
←Rate |
08-28-2011 08:24 by JBabcock
Comments (0)
Dear Boss, Life is full of surprises. I'm not coming into work today. SUPRISE!!
←Rate |
08-28-2011 08:22 by JBabcock
Comments (0)