Funny Status Messages and Tweets
Funny Status Messages for Facebook, Discord, and Whatsapp and funny tweets for Twitter.
Page: 45 of 6387
Never treat a Lady like an object, it hates that.
←Rate |
04-26-2022 01:20
Comments (0)
Amal and Juan are identical twins. Their mother only carries one photo, because if you’ve seen Juan, you’ve seen Amal.
←Rate |
04-26-2022 20:10
Comments (0)
Some people need to avoid touching two faces.
←Rate |
05-06-2022 19:41
Comments (0)
I did not climb to the top of the food chain to eat carrots.
←Rate |
08-04-2022 01:38
Comments (0)
All you need is love. But a little chocolate now and then doesn’t hurt.
←Rate |
08-05-2022 02:14
Comments (0)
Life begins at 40, so do fallen arches, rheumatism, faulty eyesight, and the tendency to tell a story to the same person, three or four times.
←Rate |
08-15-2022 07:56
Comments (0)
When people ask, “Do you have a bathroom?” No, we pee in the yard.
←Rate |
07-22-2022 02:20
Comments (0)
When you’re condemned daily, yet you continue because you’re as dense as a mud flap.
←Rate |
05-23-2022 02:08
Comments (0)
Your cat is a “see you in tea.”
←Rate |
05-08-2022 20:38
Comments (0)
“Be yourself” is about the worst advice you can give some people.
←Rate |
08-08-2022 02:59
Comments (0)
If you get white milk from white cows, chocolate milk from brown cows, where does pink milk come from?
←Rate |
04-18-2022 01:21
Comments (0)
When a woman laughs during an argument, the psycho part of her brain has just been activated. Abort mission.
←Rate |
04-26-2022 01:54
Comments (0)
If he drinks his whiskey straight, he’ll do that thing you like.
←Rate |
04-26-2022 01:55
Comments (0)
Today is the day, I can feel it. I will catch my tail. ~ Dog
←Rate |
05-09-2022 02:29
Comments (0)
Choose a lazy person to do a hard job, because a lazy person will always find an easy way to do it.
←Rate |
07-22-2022 02:20
Comments (0)
Cain killed Abel with a rock, God blamed Cain, not the rock.
←Rate |
06-10-2022 01:41
Comments (0)
After all these years, I think I figured out Victoria’s Secret.... She’s hungry.
←Rate |
06-01-2022 11:47
Comments (0)
Friends are God’s way of apologizing for our families.
←Rate |
07-22-2022 02:17
Comments (0)
I like long walks, especially when they’re taken by people who annoy me.
←Rate |
07-22-2022 02:19
Comments (0)
If you're a young Mafia gangster out on your first date, I bet it's real embarrassing if someone tries to kill you.
←Rate |
07-25-2022 10:42
Comments (0)