BEGO Funny Status Messages

   f a man says you’re ugly he’s being mean. If a woman says you’re ugly she’s envious. If a little kid says you’re ugly, you’re ugly.

   I think money attracts the females you want, struggle attracts the woman you need..

   I love screwing with the minds of the foreign tech support guys. “My name is Perry, not Terry. With a P as in Pterodactyl.”

   Whenever I have a panic attack, I put a brown paper bag over my mouth … and drink all the vodka inside … It seems to help

   The saddest people in the world always seem to be the nicest.

   She wants to share a Facebook account? Run.

   Sometimes The Best Things In Life Are Worth Waiting For.. So Wait For Me I Will Be Right Back...

   NERD WEDDING: Instead of saying “I do.” They say “I accept the terms & conditions.”  

   Kids are ridiculous these days, when we were young, we took spelling tests, not pregnancy tests.

   If I pass you my phone to see a photo and you scroll through my other pics, they'll never find your body.

   BREAKING NEWS: Dora the Explorer suffers a heart attack after discovering Google Maps.

   Relationships are kinda like hamburgers on TV. They look good, but in real life, they're not that great.

   Life always offers you a second chance. It's called tomorrow.

   Dear young girls losing their virginity... if you're age is on the clock, you're too young for the coc$.

   I think all the call of duty's should have a PS3 vs. XBOX online game mode.

   It's funny how you can do nice things for people all the time and they never notice. But, once you make one mistake, it's never forgotten.

   Just because I don't tell anyone, doesn't mean that problems doesn't exist in my life.

   Topless pictures of the Royal Family don't shock me as much as pictures of them doing manual labor would

   My dad carries pictures of me and my brother where his money used to be.

   My “we had to walk 5 miles uphill in the snow just to get to school” story will be about taking 4 hours to download an mp3 with a 28k modem in 1995.