Aaron Funny Status Messages

   What do whales eat? Fish and ships.

   I'm officially changing my TV remote's name to Waldo.

   GET TO THE CHOPPER!!

   I really hope cell phones aren't bad for us, but I would like the excuse: 'I can't talk right now. You're giving me cancer.'

   Honey, remember to address the dog as "Dr." Scruffy. We didn't pay for eight years of post-grad obedience school for nothing.

   I live and yearn.

   It's not that the elderly drive badly. It's just that they're the only ones with the time to do the speed limit.

   I think NASCAR would be fun if they added a 92-year old driving the opposite way in a Duster.

   Yea your in my room. I can be as almost naked as I want...

   She looked as if she had been poured into her clothes and had forgotten to say "when."

   The most disturbing part of those Orkin commercials is that the people seem used to speaking with 6 foot tall insects.

   When you say, “Jump!” I say, “Under which bus?”

   I wish Morgan Freeman narrated my life.

   Finally returning your knife. Just got it out of my back.

   "ur cute when ur mad"...... "well immabout to get real adorable"

   The BP oil is seeping into Bedrock. I'll bet Fred Flintstone is furious.

   The liquor store advertised.. We De-Liver

   After four karate lessons, I can now break a two-inch board with my cast.

   Math problems? Call 1-800-[(10x)(13i)^2]-[sin(xy)/2.362x].

   The reverse side also has a reverse side?