Funny Status Messages and Tweets

   i wonder when Sarah Palin is going to weigh in on this Stocky Markety Swoopsy Dowsy stuff.

   facebook should have a 'I AM ON THE RAG' notification for women

   Maybe if Kim Davis wasn’t so patently awful to gay people she could find someone to help fix her hair.

   I guess the Government will be working to ban tornadoes now

   Happy Easter and remember kids, watch out for Obama supporters. They will take 1/2 your eggs and give them to the kids who were to lazy to hunt for their own......

   obamacare is communism described as Health insurance.

   Al Gore is an idiot!

   Why can't effing niqqers resolve issues without always beating the $hit out of someone??

   It's been said that Obama hasn't had a cigarette in 9 months. If that's true,then why does it feel like he's still blowing smoke up our ass?

   "If olive oil comes from crushing olives, does baby oil come from Planed Parenthood?

   I love animals. Especially with ketchup.

   W.O.M.E.N.: Waiting On Man's Every Need.

   If I miss 11/11/11 11:11:11 I will be soooo pissed.

   congrats to spain for winning the Triwizard Cup or whatever...

   A school teacher asks her young students "What comes after 69?" One little girl raises her hand so the teacher lets her speak. "Well, you clean your face then wash your mouth out....duh!"

   Sittin' in the Dr.'s office next to the "turn off cell phone" sign using my phone to share this with you. Because, yeah... that's how I f*ckin' roll. :)

   I’ll never forget what my dad said when I gave him a picture I drew and asked him to put on the refrigerator: “You’re 24 James

   Personally, I think today should be "Cap a Diaperhead" day! Just saying

   The most used sexual position for married couples is DOGGY STYLE. The husband sits and begs for it and the wife rolls over and plays dead!

   If more people...instead of stirring the pot, would smoke it...the world would be a happier place.