Funny Status Messages and Tweets

   When dressing up for Halloween, disguise the limit.

   if I ever wake up in a room full of people and a tape recorder that says, "Hello, I want to play a game," I'm going to be so mad!

   Spongebob is trying to give Gary a bath, aren't they already underwater?

   Everyone is intitled to their opinion, and in my opinion, your opinion sucks!

   if Winter was alive, I would hunt it down and kill it..."

   bored with Sunday. You should go away and ask your friend Saturday to come back.

   wondering if I should go to bed or just stay up. I have mixed emotions about it. If I stay up I will be bored and if I go to bed I will be bored. At least if I'm in bed sleeping I won't know I'm bored so I guess I will go to bed..Peace out!!

   Beauty is in the eye of the beholder and it may be necessary from time to time to give a stupid or misinformed beholder a black eye.

   Britney Spears is being sued for $10 Million over a perfume deal. Apparently the scent is selling well because it helps mask the smell coming from her CDs.

   Game Day...Here's to hoping USA wins the world cup, and a Hope Solo flash ; )

   Your lucky to be born beautiful, unlike me, who was born to be a big liar

   Do you know how many black guys wish they were Steve Nash?!?!?

   Having lived and loved, I can tell you that life is the constant and love is the variable

   Damn... You looked pretty until tht free trial of Adobe Photoshop expired,

   Women who bleach their mustaches, clearly don't understand the problem with mustaches.

   The Rapture will begin this saturday let those who believe be killed by rocks and sticks the day after by thugs like me!

   Mosquito season is here. Put a fabric softener dryer sheet in your pocket to keep those pesky critters at bay. Even if it doesn't work, the Skeeters will be velvety soft and attain an April Fresh scent.

   I miss being able to hang up rotary phone on people!

   Excuses are the nails used to build a house of failure..

   If anybody steals my identity, at least I'll know who to look for