Funny Status Messages and Tweets

   . . . I know I'm in my own little world, but it's okay, they know I'm here.

   If there's one thing I definitely couldn't live without, it would probably be my body.

   The jungle is only fun when you are on top of the food chain

   At first we were just going to stay home at Intercourse, PA but then my wife said she wanted a vacation out of the states so now we are going to Phucket Thailand

   # # When it comes to poker...a good deal depends on a good deal.

   dreaming the dream but living living the nightmare

   Most of the fun things I've done have never been smart ideas.

   Why does Samsung think I want a TV that can update my Facebook status?

   Do yourself a favor and stay off of a scale for at least a month! Trust me...

   Five bucks says I'm totally broke.

   YOU! Out of the Gene Pool.

   advising others to be careful!! I am not currently medicated!!

   Just put a down payment on my yellow submarine.

   an aphrodisiac!

   "As I said before,I never repeat myself"

   made in heaven

   According to Twilight, it cool to chase 17 year-old tail but only if you're 110 years old.

   Home is where I want to be. The only place that feels like me. World outside just melts away. Relax unwind wrap up the day. Where I spend the night and start the day.

   It is a fine line between "hobby" and "mental illness." I'm talking to you Twi-hards & Beliebers.

   Let's just call the iPhone what it really is: The Toilet Book Pro