Funny Status Messages and Tweets

   I wonder why it is, that young men are always cautioned against bad girls. Anyone can handle a bad girl. It's the good girls men should be warned against.

   YOU! Out of the Gene Pool.

   advising others to be careful!! I am not currently medicated!!

   Just put a down payment on my yellow submarine.

   an aphrodisiac!

   "As I said before,I never repeat myself"

   . . . I know I'm in my own little world, but it's okay, they know I'm here.

   If there's one thing I definitely couldn't live without, it would probably be my body.

   The jungle is only fun when you are on top of the food chain

   At first we were just going to stay home at Intercourse, PA but then my wife said she wanted a vacation out of the states so now we are going to Phucket Thailand

   # # When it comes to poker...a good deal depends on a good deal.

   dreaming the dream but living living the nightmare

   Most of the fun things I've done have never been smart ideas.

   Why does Samsung think I want a TV that can update my Facebook status?

   war doesnt determin who is right... its who is left.

   Wonder what chairs would look like if our knees bent the other way

   putting "in bed" after all his friends facebook statuses.

   drink up! And happy birthday to somebody somewhere.

   In general, girls don't like to be described as “beefy”. Even if you love beef.

   stands mighty in an elite group, Procrastinators! The leaders of tomorrow