mike Funny Status Messages

   more bars in more places.

   When you order your coffee at Starbucks tell them your name is "Merry Christmas"

   I hope Manti's girlfriend likes San Diego.

   loves to go to Washington - if only to be near his money.

   Do you think the fact that gorillas have big nostrils and big fingers are related in any way?

   What's the big deal with the 2 idiots that snuck in for a white house party for a couple hours? I can't turn on the news without seeing them. "W" pulled the same trick in 2000 and stayed for 8 years and he didn't get that kind of coverage!

   How the heck can people get so excited over a game that can end in a tie? Is it gratifying when you're kissing your sister as well?

   I have found that if you love life... life will love you back

   JUST ANNOUNCED: The Pope is resigning at the end of the month. Sounds a little Joe Paterno-ish to me.

   If your dog fits in your purse, send it back, it's a rat in a dog suit.

   Ok, so now I have my coal in the pressure cooker....How long will this take?

   gearing up for hot tub season!

   Anyone want to chip in and make a counteroffer to buy back Joe Lieberman?

   Just woke up and can't go back to bed. I turn on the TV looking to maybe find something to watch. My choices are Baggage, 7 days of Sex, Sex Sent Me to the ER, The Real World:Ex-plosion, and Hannah Montana. Wondering if Miley Cyrus is staring in all of th

   Baskin Robbins called. They said, "Thanks to you, we're down to 5 flavors."

   The only way to make soccer interesting is if they could pick up the ball and throw it...

   like superman just without the cape

   Never text your wife and your gal pal at the same time...one misplaced "love you" can confuse everything

   Watching Fox News, but for some reason I can't figure out why Obama would shut down a bridge?

   one good wish changing nothing, one good decision changes everything!