Danmanz Funny Status Messages

   The media loves controlling this country. They promote NOT to drink & drive/text & drive but yet every third commercial its either about a car, a phone, or a alcoholic drink...and a little bit of insurance ads down your throat.

   Maybe....just maybe if we wait a little longer, a fú¢k fell in my hand, I can give it to you.

   Edward Snowden: Provides evidence that the government is spying on us......Government charges him for spying...

   Friends are like Christmas lights. Some are broke, others just don't work for you....and there are others that make your day shine bright.

   Don't you wish you go back in time to your high school/college year and tell your younger self "Whatever you do, do NOT sleep with that girl"

   If the head of the CIA (Petraeus) can't keep a secret such as cheating on his wife, then they're screwed.

   Funny how they wanna friends AFTER they stomped, crushed, torched, ripped, backstabbed and oh yeah....broke your heart.

   Reality T.V. Show Idea: Put The Kardashians, Honey Boo Boo, and the Jersey Shore cast on a island. Have them fight it out until the last one stands and call it "Who Gives A Fu¢k"

   If you're fearful about the government spying on you while you're online, hang out on Myspace. Nobody is going to spy on you there.

   In the lives of our grandchildren and great grandchildren, OUR iphone and ipad will be THEIR rotary phone and notepad.

   If the past calls, let it go to voicemail. It has nothing new to say.

   Every time I see you text/type "lyk dis" instead of like this, I assume you were that kid that went to the restroom and didn't come back until the end of Spelling and English class.

   You know what''s so scary, but just so sexy at the same time? A hot woman kicking your a$$ in video games.....in your room.....on your bed.

   What!? High schools with daycare centers!!....Now see what you did MTV by having that 16 & Pregnant mess! I hope you're happy.

   "I'm not like most girls." ~ Most girls

   Wanna put your relationship's trust to the test, switch phones for a day. See who gets uncomfortable and defensive about the idea first.

   Ok Facebook since you're so damn nosey, What's on YOUR mind?

   I may be old a hell when Playstation 9 comes out around the year 2072, but I'll feel like a kid when I get my hands on it.

   Yes Google/Gmail, I know already! Enough with the reduced privacy policy reminders. You want to make it easier for the government to track us. Yeah yeah I get it!!

   A drunk man speaks what a sober man thinks.