SEAN Funny Status Messages



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   messageicon I'm starting to think the Jackson family might have some problems.
←Rate | 07-30-2012 16:18 by SEAN Comments (0)  


   messageicon As a child, I used to play with an imaginary man who lived in a well. He'd be all, "Please, I'm not imaginary!" and I'd just laugh and laugh
←Rate | 09-27-2014 15:34 by SEAN Comments (0)  


   messageicon I told my wife I wanted to be cremated. She made me an appointment for tomorrow afternoon.
←Rate | 09-27-2014 15:47 by SEAN Comments (0)  


   messageicon One thing you always pay full price for is other peoples mistakes...
←Rate | 08-28-2012 08:13 by SEAN Comments (0)  


   messageicon Its taken me 20 some odd years to figure out who was the favorite child, until I went to my moms basement last week and found a box labled Sean's bath toys- It was a radio and toaster..
←Rate | 05-06-2011 08:12 by SEAN Comments (0)  


   messageicon The guy who invented "Take Your Child To Work Day" probably forgot to drop his kid off at school on the way to work.
←Rate | 05-15-2012 11:17 by SEAN Comments (0)  


   messageicon When talking with a woman in her 30s, it's super important to always pretend to be shocked when she tells you she's in her 30s.
←Rate | 04-02-2012 16:30 by SEAN Comments (0)  


   messageicon Just watched Jersey Shore for 5 minutes and now I realize why we have to do things like write "do not eat" on dry silica packets.
←Rate | 02-04-2012 08:37 by SEAN Comments (0)  


   messageicon Calling "shotgun" is great way to lighten the mood when getting in the squad car after the cops arrest you.
←Rate | 03-02-2012 10:22 by SEAN Comments (0)  


   messageicon It's depressing to think how much more Dora the Explorer has seen and done in her life compared to mine.
←Rate | 05-25-2012 10:38 by SEAN Comments (0)  


   messageicon Sorry, but your kids don't look adorable when they lose their teeth, they look like tiny homeless people.
←Rate | 04-12-2013 11:12 by SEAN Comments (0)  


   messageicon Box wine? I prefer the term Cardboardeaux.
←Rate | 08-27-2012 11:40 by SEAN Comments (0)  


   messageicon I can't help but feel important when someone says there's a special place in hell for people like me.
←Rate | 02-05-2013 08:43 by SEAN Comments (0)  


   messageicon I just accidentally sat through the commercials of a show recorded on my DVR. Every time I do that, a part of me dies.
←Rate | 03-14-2011 15:41 by SEAN Comments (1)  


   messageicon The mirrors in my house have been pretty sarcastic lately.
←Rate | 11-28-2012 16:26 by SEAN Comments (0)  


   messageicon Two things you should never do to a woman is lie to them and be completely honest with them.
←Rate | 01-11-2013 11:38 by SEAN Comments (0)  


   messageicon So, you're telling me my credit score should have three digits?
←Rate | 12-08-2012 09:57 by SEAN Comments (0)  


   messageicon To the additional pot that was on the stove after I thought I was done washing the dishes, I hate your stinkin' guts.
←Rate | 08-21-2012 15:44 by SEAN Comments (0)  


   messageicon I'm not allowed to have any energy drinks until all the cat's hair grows back.
←Rate | 09-27-2014 15:32 by SEAN Comments (0)  


   messageicon Nothing is impossible. I know a man that once guessed correctly why a woman was mad at him.
←Rate | 06-13-2013 09:10 by SEAN Comments (0)  




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