Funny Status Messages Search

X There is NO WAY that Bert and Ernie are gay. They haven't changed their outfits in 25 years.

<--Rate | Submitted: 08-13-2011 13:36 by SuthernFukr Comments (1)

X FOR SALE: P90X® home fitness kit, still in box, $50 or will trade for king size Snickers

<--Rate | Submitted: 02-01-2012 09:33 by SuthernFukr Comments (1)

X You know how we smack your household appliances when they're malfunctioning and it makes them work? I wish you could do that with people.

<--Rate | Submitted: 09-12-2011 11:02 by SuthernFukr Comments (0)

X If someone says "I love you," and you don't feel the same way, say "I love Youtube" really fast.

<--Rate | Submitted: 08-18-2011 11:42 by SuthernFukr Comments (1)

X All I heard was, "I swear it'll be funny"... Then we were in jail.

<--Rate | Submitted: 07-22-2011 14:23 by SuthernFukr Comments (0)

X I just accidentally mixed 'I cant believe its not butter' with my regluar butter...now I dont know what to believe.

<--Rate | Submitted: 08-15-2011 18:18 by SuthernFukr Comments (0)

X I'm surprised by the violence in Syria. I really thought the World Peace sign at the end of Madonna's halftime show would work.

<--Rate | Submitted: 02-06-2012 15:59 by SuthernFukr Comments (0)

X You know you're an adult when you suddenly start taking Bert's side over Ernie's.

<--Rate | Submitted: 02-16-2012 10:28 by SuthernFukr Comments (0)

X The bat signal seems pretty useless if they need Batman during the day.

<--Rate | Submitted: 08-15-2011 18:19 by SuthernFukr Comments (0)

X What if oxygen makes our voice really deep, and Helium just brings it back to normal?

<--Rate | Submitted: 12-05-2011 08:59 by SuthernFukr Comments (0)

X Is it just me or do those red foil wrapped Hershey's kisses taste almost identical to the silver foil Hershey's kisses? I'll keep testing.

<--Rate | Submitted: 01-10-2012 13:53 by SuthernFukr Comments (0)

X When I die, I want to be cremated and put inside an Etch-a-Sketch.

<--Rate | Submitted: 06-05-2012 10:54 by SuthernFukr Comments (1)

X Dora has taught me just enough Spanish to engage Spanish-speaking people in the worst conversation they've ever had.

<--Rate | Submitted: 11-21-2011 09:14 by SuthernFukr Comments (0)

X You'll never see me on Hoarders because I can't afford that much sh!t.

<--Rate | Submitted: 08-19-2011 16:49 by SuthernFukr Comments (0)

X I wish somebody would invent a Slim Fast beer.

<--Rate | Submitted: 08-30-2011 15:31 by SuthernFukr Comments (0)

X Scientists plan to clone a woolly mammoth and bring the prehistoric creature back to life. I sure don't see what could go wrong there.

<--Rate | Submitted: 03-13-2012 12:55 by SuthernFukr Comments (0)

X I've just been informed by a porn site that "8 hot nymphos in my area are dying to meet me." I'm understandably stoked.

<--Rate | Submitted: 02-24-2012 10:06 by SuthernFukr Comments (0)

X I always go the extra mile. The restraining order says I have to.

<--Rate | Submitted: 06-06-2012 12:41 by SuthernFukr Comments (0)

X The best nicknames are the ones people don't know they have.

<--Rate | Submitted: 11-15-2011 09:36 by SuthernFukr Comments (0)

X I'm not the only one that drives to work hoping its a crime scene, am I?

<--Rate | Submitted: 09-29-2011 21:49 by SuthernFukr Comments (0)