Funny Status Messages and Tweets
Funny Status Messages for Facebook, Discord, and Whatsapp and funny tweets for Twitter.
Page: 4 of 6339

Never interrupt your opponent while he's making a mistake.
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01-06-2023 01:48
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It might be called social media, but all I do is share photos and ignore people.
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01-08-2023 17:21
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Doctor Doggo: “Hmmm…. I see. Have you tried barking at nothing? That might help.”
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01-08-2023 12:09
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It’s called a joke, we used to tell them before people got drunk on soymilk.
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01-08-2023 15:07
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Rachel has 16 chocolate bars. Tracy takes 4 from her and asks for the remaining quarter. What would she end up with? Me: A sucker-punch in the breadbox.
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01-10-2023 01:42
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I’m going to need some of you guys to start getting weirder, I cannot keep pulling all the weight like this. 😏
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01-23-2023 02:44
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You can’t change someone who doesn’t see an issue with their actions.
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01-06-2023 19:34
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Counting to ten only makes it premeditated.
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01-10-2023 01:53
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Teacher: “Today we will be talking about depressed people who share jokes all day as a coping mechanism.”
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01-08-2023 17:21
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There are two kinds of people: Those who do whatever they’re told, no matter what. And, people who will do what is right, no matter what they are told. 😉
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01-23-2023 03:09
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I’m all out of snacks. What else do people do for fun? 🤔
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01-23-2023 02:40
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Some of you are going to keep trusting the system until your pronouns are was/were. 🙁
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01-23-2023 02:51
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When you’re in psychology class and you learn about the disorder you have.
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01-08-2023 17:22
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When you’re tired of your cat showing you it’s butthole so you show it yours.
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01-06-2023 02:08
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Everyone I know is a “snack getting stuck in a vending machine” away from total collapse.
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01-08-2023 17:23
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Me: My dog is probably thinking about other dogs. My dog: “What was Scar’s name before he got that scar?”
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01-10-2023 02:13
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You’re the reason God created the middle finger.
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01-19-2023 04:10
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Friendly reminder to put all current boyfriends and girlfriends at the edge of family photos so that they and easily be cropped out later.
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01-08-2023 02:10
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When they can’t control or manipulate you, they smear you. 😔
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01-23-2023 03:06
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Therapist: “What brings you in today?” Me: Every time my husband puts the dishes away, he puts them in a different location. Therapist: “I’ll cancel all my appointments.”
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01-08-2023 17:22
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