SEAN Funny Status Messages



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   messageicon "According to a new poll, Hillary Clinton has lost a third of her supporters since May. There's still debate as to whether she lost them or just deleted them from her database.
←Rate | 07-06-2016 15:17 by SEAN Comments (0)  


   messageicon The firefighters' union announced that it was no longer supporting Hillary for president. You know your campaign's in trouble when firefighters are like, 'Even WE can't put out that many fires.'"
←Rate | 07-06-2016 15:16 by SEAN Comments (0)  


   messageicon Shouldn't they just put Harriet Tubman's face on EBT cards???
←Rate | 04-24-2016 12:46 by SEAN Comments (3)  


   messageicon Eating chocolate pudding from a diaper is a great way to get a whole row to yourself at the movies.
←Rate | 04-12-2016 13:06 by SEAN Comments (0)  


   messageicon I guess one of the benefits of eating healthier is that you never have to ask questions like, "Who ate my kale?"
←Rate | 04-12-2016 13:04 by SEAN Comments (0)  


   messageicon just ordered a Fitbit and my bank called to see if my card was stolen.
←Rate | 04-12-2016 13:00 by SEAN Comments (0)  


   messageicon Nothing says "I love you" like my cat aggressively bathing itself immediately after I pet her.
←Rate | 04-12-2016 11:48 by SEAN Comments (0)  


   messageicon I wish anger burned more calories.
←Rate | 04-12-2016 11:47 by SEAN Comments (0)  


   messageicon Alarm system? Yeah right. I'll defend my home the way my ancestors would have. A series of large painted portraits with peepholes for eyes.
←Rate | 04-12-2016 11:16 by SEAN Comments (0)  


   messageicon You will NEVER see a person with Tourette's syndrome on the bomb squad.
←Rate | 04-12-2016 10:45 by SEAN Comments (0)  


   messageicon There must be a trick to fighting fire with fire because I pretty much just burnt down my whole house...
←Rate | 03-18-2016 12:58 by SEAN Comments (0)  


   messageicon I've never seen anyone vaping in a car that didn't have at least three dents in it.
←Rate | 03-18-2016 12:56 by SEAN Comments (0)  


   messageicon the good news is the doctor says I'm healthy as a horse, the bad news is she still uses large farm animals to describe me....
←Rate | 02-29-2016 06:33 by SEAN Comments (0)  


   messageicon I can only assume the next 4 weeks are incredibly difficult for people who's grandmother's were actually run over by reindeer. ..
←Rate | 12-02-2015 06:56 by SEAN Comments (0)  


   messageicon Got all my Christmas gifts bought early this year, hope everyone likes Halloween costumes-
←Rate | 10-14-2015 15:26 by SEAN Comments (0)  


   messageicon I hate snakes, mainly because they have no feet- you could say I am lack-toes intolerant...
←Rate | 10-14-2015 14:32 by SEAN Comments (0)  


   messageicon The only real difference between my 20s and my 30s is that now I make all my bad decisions before midnight.
←Rate | 10-14-2015 14:09 by SEAN Comments (0)  


   messageicon The Middle East and Kim Kardashian's a$$ have a lot in common. Both are massive, have tons of oil, and have been invaded by the West.
←Rate | 10-14-2015 13:38 by SEAN Comments (0)  


   messageicon Our lazy neighbor cant even rake his yard without clutching his chest and falling down...
←Rate | 10-14-2015 13:35 by SEAN Comments (0)  


   messageicon I think my downstairs neighbors are beginning to suspect I'm living in their attic...
←Rate | 10-14-2015 13:31 by SEAN Comments (0)  




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