Lil-David Funny Status Messages

   At my age.... It's always Happy Hour!

   Last night I think Count Dracula was following me or possibly just a guy in a vampire halloween costume either way, the wooden stake worked!

   I bought a counterfeit money detector pen, You should see the expression on my dope mans face when I used it to check the change from the 8-ball...

   I made a desicion to practice celibancy,and my right hand asked if we separated....

   The girl on the stripper pole got mad because I gave her a monopoly dollar, well fake boobs, fake hair, fake nails gets fake dollars!

   We should give the Syrian goverment hoodies and skittles... Then send George Zimmerman

   I wonder if people with eye patches thought.....I See You!

   Memo to New Orleans: You can't turn the Superdome into a sewer this time., emergency shelter will be at the black crack neighbors house!