Lemonpillow Funny Status Messages



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   messageicon I think it's funny when someone updates their status with a depressing quote or about something bad that happened, and then people “like” it. The “like” button has become used more than a gas station bathroom.
←Rate | 11-18-2010 13:02 by lemonpillow Comments (0)  


   messageicon When I was a little girl, my mother wore a mood ring. When she was in a good mood it turned blue. When she was in a bad mood, it left a big red mark on my forehead.
←Rate | 11-17-2010 14:11 by lemonpillow Comments (0)  


   messageicon I should've known it wasn't going to work out between my ex-gf and me. After all, I'm a Gemini and she's a b*tch.
←Rate | 11-16-2010 21:32 by lemonpillow Comments (0)  


   messageicon Smart Man + Smart Woman = Romance . Smart Man + Dumb Woman = Affair . Dumb Man + Smart Woman = Marriage . Dumb Man + Dumb Woman = Pregnancy
←Rate | 11-16-2010 17:33 by lemonpillow Comments (6)  


   messageicon Physicists have yet to explain why 200 people can be working at a Wal-Mart but only three registers will be open
←Rate | 11-14-2010 11:48 by lemonpillow Comments (0)  


   messageicon The good thing about multiple personalities is that if you collect enough of them you're prepared for any situation
←Rate | 11-11-2010 14:33 by lemonpillow Comments (2)  


   messageicon I raised the alarm at work today.The midgets were furious.
←Rate | 11-09-2010 16:09 by lemonpillow Comments (0)  


   messageicon Womens football. If it isn't raining I'm just not interested.
←Rate | 11-09-2010 16:07 by lemonpillow Comments (0)  


   messageicon I was watching some trailers at my local cinema when to my surprise a movie came on.
←Rate | 11-07-2010 17:23 by lemonpillow Comments (0)  


   messageicon Laughing at your mistakes can lengthen your life. Laughing at someone else's can shorten it.
←Rate | 11-04-2010 19:00 by lemonpillow Comments (0)  


   messageicon forgot to buy candy for the kids this Halloween but will offer them a bite of her sandwich.
←Rate | 10-31-2010 06:34 by lemonpillow Comments (0)  


   messageicon ...warns you this Halloween to beware of strangers bearing strange tools like chainsaws, staple guns, hedge trimmers, electric carving knives, and band saws.
←Rate | 10-31-2010 06:30 by lemonpillow Comments (0)  


   messageicon This Halloween, I'll be handing out those little tiny candy bars. I think they're called bite-me sized.
←Rate | 10-31-2010 05:29 by lemonpillow Comments (0)  


   messageicon This girl came up to me today and said she recognised me from vegetarian club.I was confused, I'd never met herbivore.
←Rate | 10-27-2010 13:51 by lemonpillow Comments (0)  


   messageicon You always get what you pay for. Nothing proves this more than toliet paper.
←Rate | 10-27-2010 13:45 by lemonpillow Comments (0)  


   messageicon My boss questioned my enthusiasm today. I can't believe he woke me up just to tell me that.
←Rate | 10-26-2010 12:11 by lemonpillow Comments (0)  


   messageicon God created man before woman... but there is always a rough draft before the masterpiece.
←Rate | 10-24-2010 12:08 by lemonpillow Comments (0)  


   messageicon An optimist laughs to forget, a pessimist forgets to laugh.
←Rate | 10-24-2010 12:06 by lemonpillow Comments (0)  


   messageicon Always smile in the morning. It will make people wonder what you did the night before.
←Rate | 10-21-2010 14:37 by lemonpillow Comments (0)  


   messageicon Don't worry about what other people think because they rarely ever do.
←Rate | 10-20-2010 15:14 by lemonpillow Comments (0)  




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