Eaglet1122 Funny Status Messages



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   messageicon I remember the first habit I picked up. The other nuns just stared in horror!
←Rate | 12-14-2011 17:20 by eaglet1122 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Claiming my heart back, wrapping it up in aluminum foil and putting it back in the freezer. You dig?
←Rate | 12-13-2011 23:42 by eaglet1122 Comments (0)  


   messageicon ‎20-30 years from now, one of the hardest things our kids will be faced with is finding a screen name which is not already taken!
←Rate | 11-29-2011 00:02 by eaglet1122 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Santa is the original Voyager!
←Rate | 11-28-2011 22:32 by eaglet1122 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I must assume that my cell phone is pro-choice based off the number of calls it has aborted!
←Rate | 11-16-2011 20:13 by eaglet1122 Comments (0)  


   messageicon All dyslexics rejoice! For today is your day! 11/11/11 yppaH
←Rate | 11-11-2011 08:47 by eaglet1122 Comments (0)  


   messageicon You would think that the 4 page instructions/warnning packet for Adderall, would include narritive pictures.
←Rate | 10-31-2011 11:57 by eaglet1122 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Last women I hooked up with at the retirement home told me, "If you break it you buy it"! You know what that hip replacement cost me
←Rate | 10-31-2011 01:24 by eaglet1122 Comments (0)  


   messageicon OR you could go for the gay approach...."One man's junk is another man's treasure"
←Rate | 10-21-2011 11:37 by eaglet1122 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I hear teaching Geography is where it is at these days!
←Rate | 10-20-2011 22:50 by eaglet1122 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Serving Size: Serves six adults or one ten year old.
←Rate | 10-20-2011 09:37 by eaglet1122 Comments (0)  


   messageicon My friend said to quit hitting him. I told him those were fighting words!
←Rate | 10-16-2011 18:26 by eaglet1122 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Asked my teacher if I was interrupting. She said, "No, I'm just grading some cheese!!"
←Rate | 10-13-2011 00:59 by eaglet1122 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I made a hamburger so big tonight the top bun looked like a Yarmulke.
←Rate | 10-11-2011 22:20 by eaglet1122 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I like how after the dental hygienist rapes my gums with a sharp ass needle the dentist complains how my gums look a little swollen.
←Rate | 10-11-2011 22:19 by eaglet1122 Comments (0)  


   messageicon My feet must be gross. I can only get the wife to rub them if i'm wearing clean socks, but if one of the kids puke, she will catch it in her hands to avoid a mess.
←Rate | 10-11-2011 22:18 by eaglet1122 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I plead a 5th of Jack Daniels!
←Rate | 10-06-2011 23:25 by eaglet1122 Comments (1)  


   messageicon Caught a flounder in my crab trap....What a fluke.
←Rate | 09-29-2011 13:49 by eaglet1122 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I have to stop eating rotisserie chicken. It is making me feel dizzy!
←Rate | 09-29-2011 11:48 by eaglet1122 Comments (0)  


   messageicon E-Harmony: Dislikes: "Women who shoot their gun sideways!!"
←Rate | 09-18-2011 15:03 by eaglet1122 Comments (0)  




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