moon Funny Status Messages



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   messageicon I don't usually get asked out by women, but when I do it's usually on the first of April.
←Rate | 03-31-2019 06:33 by Moon Comments (0)  


   messageicon Want to know the secret to happiness? Deactivate your Facebook account like people used to take the phone off the hook.
←Rate | 04-03-2019 13:50 by Moon Comments (0)  


   messageicon Don't feel bad if no one talks to you on social media sites as all we could do is type.
←Rate | 04-03-2019 22:36 by Moon Comments (0)  


   messageicon Shoutout to the guy driving the BMW who gave me the finger after I honked at you. Your cell phone's on top of your car!
←Rate | 04-12-2019 21:53 by Moon Comments (0)  


   messageicon Okay, time to be productive!....or in other words log out of facebook. Which by the way is the secret to my success.
←Rate | 04-15-2019 22:12 by Moon Comments (0)  


   messageicon My way of asking a girl I like out on a date is to say "Will you run away with me to have coffee?" that works like a charm.
←Rate | 04-16-2019 14:03 by Moon Comments (0)  


   messageicon I don't understand people who say the moon landings were fake? I mean what did the government spend the 24 billion dollars on? To pay hundreds of thousands of people working on the Apollo program to sit around and play checkers?
←Rate | 04-30-2019 15:20 by Moon Comments (0)  


   messageicon Just finest remolding my bathroom and just want thank you all for all the selfies and great remolding idea's!
←Rate | 05-07-2019 09:47 by moon Comments (0)  


   messageicon It's amazing how far humans have come since the caveman days when people used to communicate by writing on walls....oh wait, we still do. Never mind.
←Rate | 05-12-2019 12:25 by Moon Comments (0)  


   messageicon I don't know why but I always end up making just a little bit too much spaghetti for myself to eat. Anyways, if anyone's hungry come on over. And bring like five friends.
←Rate | 05-13-2019 21:17 by Moon Comments (0)  


   messageicon It's not always the one that got away that troubles me the most, as sometimes it's the one that won't go away.
←Rate | 05-14-2019 13:37 by moon Comments (0)  


   messageicon If you think you can win me over with just food music and a pretty face your damn right!
←Rate | 05-18-2019 09:37 by Moon Comments (0)  


   messageicon Where did we go wrong when in 1969 we could send a man all the way to the Moon and be in perfect contact with them, when in 2019 I cant walking to the next room without losing your cell phone signal.
←Rate | 05-21-2019 07:14 by Moon Comments (0)  


   messageicon I'm no longer afraid to say that I loved Milli Vanilli's songs!.....or whoever it was that perform their songs.
←Rate | 05-27-2019 00:16 by Moon Comments (0)  


   messageicon When I was a kid we used to keep our Facebook accounts secure with a lock and key we used to call a diary.
←Rate | 05-27-2019 01:13 by Moon Comments (0)  


   messageicon Did you know that coffee spelled backwards is eeffoc, which explains why I don't really give eeffoc about many thngs until I'm finish drinking it.
←Rate | 06-01-2019 09:34 by Moon Comments (0)  


   messageicon I'd tell you guys a joke about chemistry but I know It wouldn't get a reaction and I would tell you a joke about a pencil but its pointless and my joke about leaches sucks and I have a feeling I might have told you the one about Deja vu before, so never m
←Rate | 06-01-2019 15:58 by Moon Comments (0)  


   messageicon Thanks to Facebook birthday reminders I know who to unfriend after thinking who the heck is this person?
←Rate | 06-03-2019 11:50 by Moon Comments (0)  


   messageicon How to cook the perfect amount of spaghetti: Step 1. Remove from box how much you think you need. Step 2. Eliminate half the amount you thought you needed. Step 3. Invite a friend over for spaghetti if you want to skip step 2
←Rate | 06-11-2019 15:52 by moon Comments (0)  


   messageicon Word of advice guys. When a girl says "Awe thanks, that's so sweet of you" take a hint as what she's really trying to say is "Back to the friendzone with you!"
←Rate | 06-13-2019 11:36 by Moon Comments (0)  




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