eaglet1122 Funny Status Messages



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   messageicon I line Dance just so I can kick people and get away with it
←Rate | 06-14-2011 01:43 by eaglet1122 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Looks like Casey Anthony will be available to baby sit my children tonight afterwards!!
←Rate | 07-05-2011 14:31 by eaglet1122 Comments (0)  


   messageicon OUCH!!! I just got bit by a Horse Fly with an over bite!!
←Rate | 07-23-2011 18:25 by eaglet1122 Comments (0)  


   messageicon My son asked me why Piggly Wiggly sells bacon. He said, "Isn't that like them selling their soul?"
←Rate | 08-12-2011 13:24 by eaglet1122 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I just cut a coupon for Adderall off the back of a box of Lucky Charms.
←Rate | 08-19-2011 22:10 by eaglet1122 Comments (0)  


   messageicon After only one date, I knew her "emotional closet" was a walk in!
←Rate | 08-21-2011 08:31 by eaglet1122 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Made it through Irene's rain band. They could use a new lead singer and a drummer.
←Rate | 08-26-2011 11:09 by eaglet1122 Comments (0)  


   messageicon If there's one thing I've learned since becoming a father it's just because the kids say they don't want any bacon, make 2 extra slices, because they are lying.
←Rate | 08-28-2011 12:30 by eaglet1122 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Facebook has allowed me to bring my "He's a distraction to the rest of the class" from grade school to a global scale!!
←Rate | 09-09-2011 06:45 by eaglet1122 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Yesterday it was fish, shrimp, and crabs. Tonight I'm just fishing for compliments.
←Rate | 09-10-2011 12:27 by eaglet1122 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I miss being able to hang up rotary phone on people!
←Rate | 09-14-2011 01:57 by eaglet1122 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I am that little chocolate you find when you least expect it and need it the most!!
←Rate | 09-14-2011 23:07 by eaglet1122 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I have a drinking problem and don't intend on doing a thing about it!
←Rate | 09-16-2011 21:25 by eaglet1122 Comments (0)  


   messageicon You smell like you passed through the system of a 90 year old!
←Rate | 09-17-2011 15:55 by eaglet1122 Comments (0)  


   messageicon E-Harmony: Dislikes: "Women who shoot their gun sideways!!"
←Rate | 09-18-2011 15:03 by eaglet1122 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I have to stop eating rotisserie chicken. It is making me feel dizzy!
←Rate | 09-29-2011 11:48 by eaglet1122 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Caught a flounder in my crab trap....What a fluke.
←Rate | 09-29-2011 13:49 by eaglet1122 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I plead a 5th of Jack Daniels!
←Rate | 10-06-2011 23:25 by eaglet1122 Comments (1)  


   messageicon My feet must be gross. I can only get the wife to rub them if i'm wearing clean socks, but if one of the kids puke, she will catch it in her hands to avoid a mess.
←Rate | 10-11-2011 22:18 by eaglet1122 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I like how after the dental hygienist rapes my gums with a sharp ass needle the dentist complains how my gums look a little swollen.
←Rate | 10-11-2011 22:19 by eaglet1122 Comments (0)  



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