SEAN Funny Status Messages

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   messageicon My divorce judge told me I needed to supply my xwife with a vehicle, I just UPSD'd her a broom
←Rate | 04-20-2011 14:30 by SEAN Comments (0)  

   messageicon Did anybody ever end up getting Jay-Z a what what? I think he also asked for a woop woop
←Rate | 04-22-2011 13:26 by SEAN Comments (0)  

   messageicon My neighbor is having such a hard time, he was divorced 2 months ago and then broke his wrist this week- I told him look at the bright side, now you can change your relationship from single to its complicated
←Rate | 04-28-2011 08:52 by SEAN Comments (0)  

   messageicon I started to worry about my future, so I bought a ton of stock in my company, now I worry about the work I am putting out :/
←Rate | 04-29-2011 07:58 by SEAN Comments (0)  

   messageicon Good men of this country fought and died to defend my right not to care about British royalty
←Rate | 04-29-2011 10:17 by SEAN Comments (0)  

   messageicon They deployed on Osama the minute he "checked in" to the mansion.... Well played Facebook.......
←Rate | 05-02-2011 03:29 by Sean Comments (0)  

   messageicon Just found out my "Sleep Number" is good Old Number 7 good ole Jack Daniels
←Rate | 05-05-2011 11:47 by SEAN Comments (0)  

   messageicon Its taken me 20 some odd years to figure out who was the favorite child, until I went to my moms basement last week and found a box labled Sean's bath toys- It was a radio and toaster..
←Rate | 05-06-2011 08:12 by SEAN Comments (0)  

   messageicon They call mens shaving cream "Beard buster" so why dont they call womens shaving cream "Bush buster"?
←Rate | 05-09-2011 08:40 by SEAN Comments (0)  

   messageicon When I grew up I cussed so much that for a while I thought that soap was actually one of the four food groups
←Rate | 05-10-2011 08:09 by SEAN Comments (0)  

   messageicon Thanks to the ac its so cold in my office that even the girls in my nudy calendar are getting T.H.O's
←Rate | 05-10-2011 11:13 by SEAN Comments (0)  

   messageicon A lot of people make fun of the stuff Glenn Beck says. But don't forget he also has a really stupid face
←Rate | 05-11-2011 11:11 by SEAN Comments (0)  

   messageicon Can someone tell me why there is braille on the drive thru ATM machine....Am I missing something here
←Rate | 05-12-2011 13:41 by SEAN Comments (0)  

   messageicon I've heard that Apple had to get rid of their plans for the new children's iPod after realizing that iTouch Kids is not a good product name
←Rate | 05-12-2011 13:41 by SEAN Comments (0)  

   messageicon Easiest way out of Jury duty, after the States Attorney tells you he/she has no more questions, thank them for their time, fist pump them and say “ May the force be with you”
←Rate | 05-17-2011 17:37 by SEAN Comments (0)  

   messageicon At first I was excited that the Bulls game got pushed back, but when I found out Oprah's s\Secrets was not a new line of plus size lingerie I have to admit I was disappointed
←Rate | 05-18-2011 17:02 by SEAN Comments (0)  

   messageicon They say the end of the world is very near, So what if Saturday is the end of the world? If I get sent straight to hell its going to take me at least a week to realize that I'm not still at work.
←Rate | 05-20-2011 16:25 by SEAN Comments (0)  

   messageicon Dear neighbors, If you hear a lot of screaming and cussing please do not worry and/or call the police. I am cleaning out my garage and have Arachnophobia
←Rate | 06-07-2011 13:30 by SEAN Comments (0)  

   messageicon Brett Favre & Congressman Weiner gave new meaning to the term "Junk Mail".
←Rate | 06-08-2011 11:45 by SEAN Comments (0)  

   messageicon so this lady is buying a birthday card and diet suppliments, cant help but wonder if these items are not related or if she's just a b!tch
←Rate | 06-14-2011 16:11 by Sean Comments (0)  

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