Fazzella Funny Status Messages

   Anyway, I didn't see a debate. I saw two grumpy old married people arguing at Wal Mart.

   Pot Roast. Two of my favorite things.

   Social Media is a cruel and shallow disingenuous trench, a long cyber hallway where lies and anger run free, and good people are treated like dogs. There's also a negative side.

   Let's disagree to agree. That's my motto.

   There is no doubt in my mind that if people could vote from their couch at home on their X-box or PlayStation, Hillary would win in a landslide.

   Some folks exercise their right to vote. I vote my right to not exercise.

   If you think your life can't get any worse, just remember...you could be Mike Tyson in a Chinese restaurant trying to order the Sweet and Sour Shrimp.

   If Hillary wins the White House, I'm moving to a country that will be considerably more safe: Yemen.

   Let's face it. If we exist, it means we come from a long line of f**kers.

   There was a time when I, you know, wouldn't go "down" there...I suggested my girl trim it into a dinosaur shape. That's how my parents got me to eat chicken.

   Trump is the tornado. And Hillary is the trailer park.

   And They Want $15 An Hour: "Welcome to McDonald's." "Can I get a half dozen chicken nuggets please?" "We only serve 6, 10 or 20 piece." "So you don't sell half a dozen chicken nuggets?" "No sir." "Okay, I'll take the 6 piece."

   Someone asked me what is there to look forward to in life after becoming a grandfather. I said, "Smelling like mothballs."

   I'm SO looking forward to Disney's new Brazilian Wax theme park. Yes, I'm talking about EPTWAT.

   If Hillary wins, all public government announcements will begin with: Ladies, Gentlemen and Trannies....

   What we've learned from this election, is that if you go black, you can indeed go back.

   Club Clinton members are freaking out over Milania Trump moving into the White House, yet they're okay with some gender neutral closet-case using the same restrooms as their daughters.

   Hey Hillary! Are there any remaining campaign funds to make a trip to a microphone and ask your supporters to chill out?

   It seems Michael Moore attained, at least partially, one of the two things he desperately needs, which is humility. We can only hope the other will soon be forthcoming....a bath.

   No need to build a wall. Just have Rosie O'Donnell lay down on the Mexican/American border.