CzovCzov Funny Status Messages



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   messageicon A new day doesn't officially start until you take a shower.
←Rate | 12-20-2011 06:39 by Czovczov Comments (0)  


   messageicon TIP FOR GUYS: If you have a girl coming over to watch a movie, make sure to pick a movie that's not worth watching. If you know what I mean!
←Rate | 12-22-2011 06:35 by Czovczov Comments (0)  


   messageicon Officer, I promise this weed is prescription, it's for my pathological lying!!
←Rate | 12-22-2011 06:48 by Czovczov Comments (0)  


   messageicon When you post pictures of yourself flaunting money, I am forced to think you're not used to having it.
←Rate | 12-22-2011 14:59 by Czovczov Comments (0)  


   messageicon HIM: “You look like a Barbie!” HER: “Thanks. You mean tall, slim and beautiful right?” HIM: “Hell no! I mean plastic and without a brain.”
←Rate | 12-30-2011 10:01 by Czovczov Comments (0)  


   messageicon Giving people the benefit of the doubt is usually just a polite way of temporarily overlooking their stupidity.
←Rate | 12-30-2011 10:16 by Czovczov Comments (0)  


   messageicon Fellas: Let a woman wear the pants in a relationship. They are coming off later anyways!
←Rate | 12-30-2011 10:23 by Czovczov Comments (0)  


   messageicon If steroids and other performance enhancing drugs are illegal for athletes, shouldn't Photoshop be illegal for models?
←Rate | 12-30-2011 11:39 by Czovczov Comments (0)  


   messageicon Ladies: You texted him but he hasn't texted back? Don't be too quick to assume he is ignoring you, instead assume he was obviously so excited to get your text message that he fainted.
←Rate | 01-03-2012 01:49 by Czovczov Comments (0)  


   messageicon Every business has its busy season. The gyms are now bracing for their two-week onslaught of door crashers.
←Rate | 01-03-2012 01:58 by Czovczov Comments (0)  


   messageicon If I had $100 for everytime I read something funny on your Facebook page, I would still be broke.
←Rate | 01-03-2012 02:13 by Czovczov Comments (0)  


   messageicon There's plenty of fish in the sea, but until I catch one, i'm stuck here just holding my rod
←Rate | 01-03-2012 13:34 by Czovczov Comments (0)  


   messageicon Don't do drugs; they can mess up your finances. You can save some money and get the same effect from just standing up really fast.
←Rate | 01-03-2012 13:43 by Czovczov Comments (0)  


   messageicon A salesman hugs a girl. GIRL: What the hell is this? SALESMAN: It is direct marketing. GIRL: *slaps him* SALESMAN: What was that? GIRL: A customer's feedback!
←Rate | 01-04-2012 09:48 by Czovczov Comments (0)  


   messageicon I've been told by several women that I'm a great listener. A majority of whom, have huge boobs.
←Rate | 01-04-2012 13:47 by Czovczov Comments (0)  


   messageicon Dear old love: I used to fantasize about you dying so that I could be single again. I'm so glad I decided to leave you instead of waiting for you to die.
←Rate | 01-04-2012 22:39 by Czovczov Comments (0)  


   messageicon Your lack of a Facebook Photo makes some wonder if you are shy, a wanted criminal or just intensely unattractive.
←Rate | 01-05-2012 13:15 by Czovczov Comments (0)  


   messageicon To all guys who say they don't understand women: You don't have to understand how a TV works to enjoy watching it, do you?
←Rate | 01-06-2012 02:25 by Czovczov Comments (0)  


   messageicon I hate situations where I have to acknowledge the people I had been successfully ignoring.
←Rate | 01-06-2012 15:33 by Czovczov Comments (0)  


   messageicon Last time I checked, my name wasn't in the dictionary. Therefore, I can't be defined.
←Rate | 01-07-2012 13:41 by Czovczov Comments (0)  




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