Cj Funny Status Messages



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   messageicon Just because you're not paranoid doesn't mean they're not out to get you.
←Rate | 10-01-2010 13:25 by CJ Comments (0)  


   messageicon No one can do everything, BUT everyone can do something!!!
←Rate | 11-24-2010 14:02 by CJ Comments (0)  


   messageicon Stand up for what is right, even if you're standing alone.
←Rate | 11-24-2010 14:04 by CJ Comments (0)  


   messageicon Reminding you to never argue with someone who is not on your level of intelligence. Hand them a box of crayons and walk away knowing that you are smarter.
←Rate | 01-19-2011 10:42 by CJ Comments (0)  


   messageicon BREAKING NEWS: This just in from the newsdesk.....Most women are comlplicated.
←Rate | 01-20-2011 17:14 by CJ Comments (2)  


   messageicon Why can't Horatio Caine figure out Dexter Morgan is a serial killer?
←Rate | 01-28-2011 18:59 by CJ Comments (0)  


   messageicon Just got my confirmation! I'm on the guest list for Charlie Sheen's Brews, Blow & Hoe's party.
←Rate | 02-16-2011 09:32 by CJ Comments (0)  


   messageicon BATHROOM: A room used by the entire family, believed by all except Mom to be self-cleaning.
←Rate | 02-17-2011 14:54 by CJ Comments (0)  


   messageicon Shirts get dirty. Underwear gets dirty. Pants? Pants never get dirty, and you can wear them forever.
←Rate | 02-17-2011 15:01 by CJ Comments (0)  


   messageicon When my kids become wild and unruly, I use a nice, safe playpen. When they're finished, I climb out.
←Rate | 02-21-2011 11:58 by CJ Comments (0)  


   messageicon My theory on housework is, if the item doesn't multiply, smell, catch fire, or block the refrigerator door, let it be. No one else cares. Why should you?
←Rate | 02-21-2011 11:59 by CJ Comments (0)  


   messageicon Sing out loud in the car even, or especially, if it embarrasses your children.
←Rate | 02-21-2011 12:01 by CJ Comments (0)  


   messageicon If your kids are giving you a headache, follow the directions on the aspirin bottle, especially the part that says, "keep away from children."
←Rate | 02-21-2011 12:02 by CJ Comments (0)  


   messageicon One thing they never tell you about child raising is that for the rest of your life, at the drop of a hat, you are expected to know your child's name and how old he or she is.
←Rate | 02-21-2011 12:04 by CJ Comments (0)  


   messageicon No one ever died from sleeping in an unmade bed. I have known mothers who remake the bed after their children do it because there is wrinkle in the spread or the blanket is on crooked. This is sick.
←Rate | 02-21-2011 12:05 by CJ Comments (0)  


   messageicon Somewhere out there, someone's grandma's recipe for dill bread reads ".. allow dill dough to rise".
←Rate | 03-02-2011 10:31 by CJ Comments (0)  


   messageicon BEER!!!! now cheaper than gas...DRINK......DON'T DRIVE!!!!!
←Rate | 03-15-2011 00:51 by CJ Comments (0)  


   messageicon LOVE ~ It's a special kind of stupid.....
←Rate | 03-22-2011 16:11 by CJ Comments (0)  


   messageicon I remember when I was a kid I used to come home from Sunday School and my mother would get drunk and try to make pancakes”
←Rate | 03-27-2011 12:08 by CJ Comments (0)  


   messageicon Happy Wife = Happy Life
←Rate | 03-30-2011 12:30 by CJ Comments (1)  




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