lemonpillow Funny Status Messages



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   messageicon When setting the table, does the remote control go to the left, to the right or over the dinner plate?
←Rate | 01-29-2010 14:32 by lemonpillow Comments (0)  


   messageicon I always confuse the words exotic and erotic. That made for a very awkward conversation at my local pet store.
←Rate | 06-02-2010 14:08 by lemonpillow Comments (0)  


   messageicon A New Year's resolution is something that goes in one year and out the other.
←Rate | 12-27-2009 20:22 by Lemonpillow Comments (0)  


   messageicon Legally,It's questionable. Morally,It's disgusting. Personally,I like it.
←Rate | 01-10-2011 15:34 by lemonpillow Comments (0)  


   messageicon Whats better than winning the lottery? Winning it the day after your divorce comes through.
←Rate | 07-29-2010 13:58 by lemonpillow Comments (0)  


   messageicon Either my memory is getting shorter or the commercials are getting longer. Either way,by the time the shows back on,i've forgotten what I was watching!
←Rate | 12-07-2009 18:49 by Lemonpillow Comments (0)  


   messageicon "you gotta laugh.. sometimes its the only weapon you got" - Roger Rabbit
←Rate | 01-25-2010 02:49 by lemonpillow Comments (0)  


   messageicon When life gives you melons... you know you're dyslexic.
←Rate | 12-06-2009 07:22 by lemonpillow Comments (0)  


   messageicon The happiest people don't have the best of everything, they just make the best of everything they have.
←Rate | 11-25-2010 07:07 by lemonpillow Comments (8)  


   messageicon Peter Griffin doesn't look so stupid now with his volcano insurance.
←Rate | 04-18-2010 19:44 by Lemonpillow Comments (0)  


   messageicon You never really learn how to swear until you begin to drive.
←Rate | 03-16-2010 08:46 by Lemonpillow Comments (0)  


   messageicon Ever notice that people who spend money on beer, cigarettes, and lottery tickets are always complaining about being broke and not feeling well?
←Rate | 08-28-2010 20:15 by lemonpillow Comments (0)  


   messageicon Physicists have yet to explain why 200 people can be working at a Wal-Mart but only three registers will be open
←Rate | 11-14-2010 11:48 by lemonpillow Comments (0)  


   messageicon Egyptian Pres. Mubarak refuses to heed calls to step down. He seems to be in denial--which coincidentally is where his body will be found if he doesn't resign.
←Rate | 02-01-2011 19:16 by lemonpillow Comments (0)  


   messageicon These internet scams must make it difficult for legitimate Nigerian officials to share huge sums of money with strangers
←Rate | 01-22-2010 10:42 by lemonpillow Comments (0)  


   messageicon Gossip is when you hear something you like about someone you don't..
←Rate | 08-03-2010 05:09 by lemonpillow Comments (0)  


   messageicon The record companies would have us believe that the money made by CD pirates goes to fund the drug industry. But the money rock stars make from legal record sales ends up in exactly the same place. When they stop breaking the law, so will I.
←Rate | 10-31-2009 11:18 by lemonpillow Comments (0)  


   messageicon How do you know if someone has an iPhone? They tell you.
←Rate | 09-14-2010 13:49 by lemonpillow Comments (0)  


   messageicon You always get what you pay for. Nothing proves this more than toliet paper.
←Rate | 10-27-2010 13:45 by lemonpillow Comments (0)  


   messageicon I'm having trouble sleeping. I guess i'd better get up from under my desk and get some work done.
←Rate | 04-08-2010 08:26 by Lemonpillow Comments (0)  




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