g0re Funny Status Messages

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   messageicon It makes sense that animals pee on something to mark their territory. I mean if someone peed on something, most people would be like, "Eww, okay. That's yours now."
←Rate | 12-07-2011 04:19 by g0re Comments (0)  

   messageicon Only people with sh!tty video cameras and shaky hands can see UFOs.
←Rate | 11-14-2011 00:46 by g0re Comments (0)  

   messageicon My math teacher staples Burger King applications on failed tests.
←Rate | 12-15-2011 19:20 by g0re Comments (0)  

   messageicon Gentlemen, for the next 2-3 weeks the best pick up line at any bar is, "What's Call of Duty?" You can thank me at the bachelor party.
←Rate | 11-17-2011 22:29 by g0re Comments (0)  

   messageicon Let's face it ladies, if men walked around with b0ners you'd stare at them too.
←Rate | 10-18-2011 01:58 by g0re Comments (0)  

   messageicon Her: What did you buy me for my birthday? Him: You see that pink Mercedes over there? Her: Yessss??? Him: Well I brought you a toothbrush the same color.
←Rate | 12-07-2011 23:15 by g0re Comments (0)  

   messageicon A lot of people assume when you laugh while texting someone, it's because what they said is funny. But in most cases, you're laughing at what YOU said because you're just that freaking hilarious.
←Rate | 10-31-2011 18:19 by g0re Comments (0)  

   messageicon Girls: Theres always going to be that girl you think is much prettier, funnier, sweeter and just generally more perfect but have you ever realized that you're probably that girl to someone else?
←Rate | 11-10-2011 16:36 by g0re Comments (0)  

   messageicon Next time I see a dead deer on the side of the road I'm going to leave and come back dressed as Santa Clause with a sign that says, "Help, need ride."
←Rate | 12-13-2011 05:27 by g0re Comments (0)  

   messageicon WOMAN'S LOGIC... Bikini: no problem Underwear and Bra: OMG!!! DONT LOOK!!!
←Rate | 01-06-2012 21:54 by g0re Comments (0)  

   messageicon Don't you wish you could just google anything? Like "where's the remote?" google:"under the couch",
←Rate | 12-07-2011 04:04 by g0re Comments (0)  

   messageicon Some girls need to realize that having fat on their bodies doesn't make them fat - it makes them alive.
←Rate | 10-12-2011 19:31 by g0re Comments (0)  

   messageicon Welcome to America:You can be the valedictorian of your class, go to college, get a Doctorate's Degree, get a really good job, and you're still not going to make as much each year as Snooki.
←Rate | 10-26-2011 01:55 by g0re Comments (0)  

   messageicon If you can't remember someone's name then, ask them "what was your name again?" Out of instinct, they tel you their first name. Then say "Oh I knew that, I meant your last name!" And boom, you get the full name, and you're not rude. Double score.
←Rate | 11-07-2011 17:26 by g0re Comments (0)  

   messageicon There are 7 billion people in this world, don't let one ruin your day.
←Rate | 10-13-2011 18:35 by g0re Comments (0)  

   messageicon It's annoying how people on facebook, post sad youtube videos or lyrics because they aren't over their ex. I've always wanted to say this to you. your ex doesn't give a crap, Your depressing post piss me off to no end, and I don't think he/she loves you.
←Rate | 10-12-2011 15:47 by g0re Comments (0)  

   messageicon No one can change a person, but someone can be a persons reason to change. - Spongebob.
←Rate | 11-07-2011 02:11 by g0re Comments (0)  

   messageicon "You will never know the true value of a moment until it becomes a memory" - Spongebob
←Rate | 12-16-2011 01:33 by g0re Comments (0)  

   messageicon Life's not a b!tch, life's a beautiful woman. You just call her a b!tch cause she wont let you get what you want,
←Rate | 11-18-2011 19:29 by g0re Comments (0)  

   messageicon You know when you have to wash the dishes when you are eating salad out of a coffee cup.
←Rate | 10-15-2011 19:22 by g0re Comments (0)  

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