Snotty Funny Status Messages



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   messageicon If you love something,, let it go..... That's EXACTLY what I've done with my body....
←Rate | 09-30-2012 17:15 by snotty Comments (0)  


   messageicon I sent that "Ancestry " site some information on my family tree. They sent me back a packet of seeds and suggested that I just start over
←Rate | 08-17-2014 20:05 by snotty Comments (0)  


   messageicon Why do the commercials with the husband and wife doing a home improvement project never show the fistfight?
←Rate | 09-24-2015 06:51 by snotty Comments (0)  


   messageicon If there's a sombrero on my doorknob it means I'm in my room eating nachos and don't want to share.
←Rate | 11-12-2014 17:03 by snotty Comments (0)  


   messageicon Think of a number 1 through 10. Double it, Subtract 1, add 20, multiply it by 5, add 2, divide by 2, close your eyes, dark, isn't it?
←Rate | 03-27-2012 07:53 by snotty Comments (0)  


   messageicon I'm wearing my pajamas and buying booze at 10 am on a Tuesday…Yeah,,I probably don't need a receipt
←Rate | 01-18-2012 20:11 by snotty Comments (0)  


   messageicon We all lose if CBS doesn't film the next Survivor aboard a Carnival Cruise Ship.
←Rate | 03-16-2013 22:27 by snotty Comments (0)  


   messageicon It's ok if you don't like my personality,,, I've got others.
←Rate | 12-14-2012 20:13 by snotty Comments (0)  


   messageicon It is unfair that girls mature faster than boys. Girls get their boobs at 13,, and men get their boobs when they're in their 40's
←Rate | 09-05-2012 08:26 by snotty Comments (0)  


   messageicon If I was a rat,,, I wouldn't give anyone my ass.
←Rate | 10-28-2013 16:04 by snotty Comments (0)  


   messageicon Just think,,, 20 years ago my television set weighed 350lbs.. And my wife weighed 105lbs ...
←Rate | 07-07-2012 13:40 by snotty Comments (0)  


   messageicon Hey guys, remember when you could still refer to your knees as right and left instead of good and bad?,,,,, Good times........ Good times
←Rate | 07-12-2013 09:28 by snotty Comments (0)  


   messageicon Hey guys, just to let you all know I'll be closing my facebook account in three days... But in four days I'll be explaining why I didn't leave
←Rate | 10-21-2012 09:00 by snotty Comments (0)  


   messageicon I’m the world record holder for the most arguments won against a woman................................................. 1 to be exact
←Rate | 02-20-2013 18:49 by snotty Comments (0)  


   messageicon PRO TIP: Make tomorrow's colonoscopy special by eating all of this glitter!
←Rate | 04-11-2015 16:04 by snotty Comments (0)  


   messageicon [wakes up from a 20 year coma]. Sweet,,, X-Files still goin strong
←Rate | 01-27-2016 18:57 by snotty Comments (0)  


   messageicon Show me on the doll where gas prices touched you.
←Rate | 05-19-2012 14:59 by snotty Comments (0)  


   messageicon Do you have neighbors?.. Do you have extension cords?..... Are you paying too much for electricity?
←Rate | 04-21-2012 08:57 by snotty Comments (0)  


   messageicon If a tree falls in the forest and no one is around to hear it, YOU'LL FIND SOME WAY TO BLAME ME FOR THAT TOO, WON'T YOU, SUSAN?
←Rate | 04-16-2012 07:07 by snotty Comments (0)  


   messageicon So sad that out of 200 countries in this world,, America ranks 35th in the world in math... But at least that keeps us still in the top 10%
←Rate | 06-12-2012 09:05 by snotty Comments (0)  



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