Scottyp Funny Status Messages



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   messageicon Dear Life...Would you at least start using lubricant....
←Rate | 07-26-2014 20:39 by scottyp Comments (0)  


   messageicon I wish I could find a drug dealer that could get me about 200 mg of Phuckitol.......
←Rate | 05-24-2011 14:35 by scottyp Comments (1)  


   messageicon Johnny Manziel joins Cleveland Browns... is sacked three times trying to get off the stage....
←Rate | 05-09-2014 06:48 by scottyp Comments (0)  


   messageicon I would like to wish a very Merry Christmas to all of my Polish friends..
←Rate | 01-22-2011 11:03 by scottyp Comments (0)  


   messageicon I finally got around to reading 50 Shades of Grey and I don't see what the big deal is.....I mean its no different then all of the other Sherwin Williams brochures that I've looked through......
←Rate | 07-25-2014 20:27 by scottyp Comments (0)  


   messageicon I'm convinced that whoever invented crack cocaine is also responsible for Samoa girl scout cookies. The similarities are too obvious to ignore...
←Rate | 01-28-2012 18:39 by Scottyp Comments (0)  


   messageicon Justin Bieber takes his relationship with Selena Gomez public. I think that it is so sweet that he's pretending to like girls....
←Rate | 03-02-2011 16:08 by scottyp Comments (0)  


   messageicon I really want a Klondike Bar, but I'm fresh out of ideas......
←Rate | 03-27-2011 08:50 by scottyp Comments (0)  


   messageicon I have never "Officially" done Yoga, but I did have to get up in the middle of last night and pee.........while erect.......so I'm pretty sure I'm qualified to teach a class now.............(If you are a woman, don't even bother trying to understand this)
←Rate | 10-04-2012 09:17 by scottyp Comments (0)  


   messageicon I'm so cold that I decided to start my own non-profit today. It's called PETAELG. That's People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals with the Exception of Lying Groundhogs
←Rate | 02-09-2011 13:56 by scottyp Comments (0)  


   messageicon The cops came at my house last night and told me my dogs had been chasing someone on a scooter. I told them off. My dogs don't even have a scooter..
←Rate | 05-18-2011 00:47 by scottyp Comments (0)  


   messageicon Life's like a box of chocolates. Sometimes you have to stick your finger in a few before you find the one that's right for you....
←Rate | 02-23-2011 13:12 by scottyp Comments (0)  


   messageicon HOW TO TWERK.... STEP 1.....Reconsider...
←Rate | 04-27-2014 21:09 by scottyp Comments (0)  


   messageicon OK, here's how it's going to be....Love me or leave me...understand? Hold on.....wait.....hey....where's everybody going??
←Rate | 01-02-2015 12:09 by scottyp Comments (0)  


   messageicon I'm thinking about going out tonight, because after all, the Beastie Boys DID fight for my right to party....
←Rate | 03-05-2011 10:09 by scottyp Comments (0)  


   messageicon The only time I put my phone down is when it rings....
←Rate | 12-16-2014 10:30 by scottyp Comments (0)  


   messageicon I've really never been able to walk the walk or talk the talk, but if you need someone to drink the drink, I might be just the one you're looking for..
←Rate | 10-25-2013 13:50 by scottyp Comments (0)  


   messageicon Picking out an appropiate outfit for a Rapture is so frustrating....and I don't even want to get into picking the right accesories...
←Rate | 05-21-2011 11:03 by scottyp Comments (0)  


   messageicon Note to self......Don't chest bump the elderly.....not a good thing.....trust me on this one...
←Rate | 03-18-2015 10:49 by scottyp Comments (0)  


   messageicon "It was consensual, the crab legs wanted to be stolen"~~Jamies Winston's attorney...
←Rate | 04-30-2014 22:49 by scottyp Comments (0)  




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