Jitney Funny Status Messages

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   messageicon I hate it when the cashier asks me a stupid question like. "Are you buying all of these?", "No B!@tch!!, I'm stealing, just wanted to show you first!"
←Rate | 09-08-2012 15:56 by jitney Comments (0)  

   messageicon There will be a huge demand on all European hair this week! So buy stock and shares in hair!
←Rate | 02-03-2013 20:23 by Jitney Comments (0)  

   messageicon "Stupid Left Shark takes one misstep during a Super Bowl and now he is famous " - Right Shark(-_-)
←Rate | 02-03-2015 14:47 by Jitney Comments (0)  

   messageicon Today at work the Boss asks me to start my presentation with a joke, On the 1st slide was a copy of my paycheck!!
←Rate | 09-11-2012 11:40 by jitney Comments (0)  

   messageicon RIP the great #NelsonMandela. Morgan Freeman played you in a film & now you will meet God. Also played by Morgan Freeman.
←Rate | 12-05-2013 19:56 by Jitney Comments (0)  

   messageicon You wanna know whats more expensive then Milk and Gas.....Ink! Instead of buying ink for my wireless printer, I mightest well buy a new printer at the rate these prices are going!
←Rate | 01-05-2013 20:25 by jitney Comments (0)  

   messageicon I realized I'm too silly for most sex things. My wife was like, "I want you to throw me around in the bedroom" , I was like, "How bout you run around and I trip you!".....I figure its safer for the both of us.
←Rate | 12-23-2012 14:59 by Jitney Comments (0)  

   messageicon Either I'm seriously drunnk or gas prices are high again.... I just got pulled over by a cop on a horse!
←Rate | 07-31-2012 04:44 by jitney Comments (0)  

   messageicon How come i'm your best friend all of a sudden when you need money? but you dont remember when I needed a ride?
←Rate | 08-12-2012 11:04 by jitney Comments (0)  

   messageicon Pringles - The only chip company in the world, that doesn't sell air!
←Rate | 06-23-2014 23:47 by Jitney Comments (0)  

   messageicon Here's a TIP: Never ask a woman what's wrong and never not ask her either.
←Rate | 01-21-2016 12:38 by jitney Comments (0)  

   messageicon "So whose the Doctor who overdose Whitney Houston and how many years he getting?", says Dr Conrad.......
←Rate | 02-13-2012 21:30 by jitney Comments (0)  

   messageicon Welp ladies valentines day is over. Time for the men to go back to being a-holes again.
←Rate | 02-15-2012 08:39 by jitney Comments (0)  

   messageicon Some assholes just broke into Best Buy and stole Computers, IPADS, IPHONEs, ect........ If you have any info on this crime please call me because I want to buy a IPAD before they are all gone
←Rate | 03-12-2012 12:48 by jitney Comments (0)  

   messageicon Imagining the horrified look on your kid's face when you tell them "When I was born there was no internet".
←Rate | 04-06-2013 15:23 by Jitney Comments (0)  

   messageicon $60,000 was stollen from a WholesFood store in NY early this yr. Luckily Wholes Food will make that money back with the next batch of apples they sell.
←Rate | 12-10-2016 19:46 by jitney Comments (0)  

   messageicon I met a Spanish man with a Rubber toe......his name was Roberto
←Rate | 09-30-2012 18:09 by jitney Comments (0)  

   messageicon Vampires beware!!!! Blade has been released!!!!
←Rate | 04-06-2013 15:15 by Jitney Comments (0)  

   messageicon "Trust Me When I say Anyone can DANCE!!!!!" - Jack Daniels
←Rate | 05-04-2013 13:49 by Jitney Comments (0)  

   messageicon Its not enough to just be in a relationship, now you have to state what type too? FB is out of control!!! What the heck is a open domestic partnership? That's just pimping ....
←Rate | 10-22-2013 15:41 by jitney Comments (0)  

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