Goodeolboy Funny Status Messages

   Even though my house has an alarm, I still like to set booby traps...just in case.

   Possible post if Facebook was around in 1983: DANGIT...street lights are on. Guess who's getting beat with a belt when he gets home :'(

   If you find out your guest has no toilet paper from the other side of the door, you have FAILED as a host.

   I used to jog but the ice cubes kept falling out of my glass.

   Watching the Cowboys. The John Wayne ones, not the loosing ones.

   Attention burglars: We may or may not be home. Or maybe we are hunters, waiting for you to get closer for a kill shot

   "That Wonka is a liar!", exclaimed by my six year old son when he realized his Everlasting Gobstopper was getting smaller and changing color.

   Kind of surprised the half time show wasn't performed by the Kottonmouth Kings.

   Shout out to all the people on my friends list who have hidden me from their wall, and are unable to see this post.

   Don't you hate when you're driving and smell oil or a hot radiator and then automatically assume it's "your" car.

   Today is worse than the day my brothers broke my nose with their stupid football. RIP Davy- Marsha B

   It's always darkest before the dawn. So if you're going to steal your neighbor's newspaper, that's the time to do it.

   Finally with today's paycheck, I've saved up enough cash to get the "gold" package on my '93 Sentra.

   Nothing says "SEXY" like your woman holding two fishing poles and a tackle box saying "Let's go!".

   Admits he chooses a Presidedntial Canidate on the basis that they resemble someone on the cast of Saturday Nite Live.

   R.I.P. To my seamonkey Oscar~10-20-84 to 10-26-84. You are missed!

   After reflecting back on the movie Young Guns, I would say Charlie Sheen finally made it to the "spirit world"

   Strange how people will judge stories like Tony Stewart, but try their damnedest to get out of jury duty...interesting.

   How many men does it take to open a beer? None...it should be open when she brings it to ya.

   You can tell a lot about a person by how many times they hit re-fresh...