CJ Funny Status Messages

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   messageicon Dear Customers, Yes, we are making fun of you in Vietnamese. Sincerely, Nail Salon Ladies!!
←Rate | 04-07-2011 12:12 by CJ Comments (0)  

   messageicon Summer is the season when a man thinks he can cook better on an outdoor grill than his wife can on an indoor stove
←Rate | 08-21-2011 13:18 by CJ Comments (0)  

   messageicon •Some people try to turn back their odometers. Not me, I want people to know “why” I look this way. I've traveled a long way and some of the roads weren't paved.
←Rate | 02-05-2010 18:43 by cj Comments (0)  

   messageicon With all do respect to Whitney (may she RIP), why did she not fix her child's teeth!!
←Rate | 11-01-2012 23:35 by CJ Comments (0)  

   messageicon Never steal. The government hates competition.
←Rate | 08-30-2010 17:38 by CJ Comments (0)  

   messageicon Everyone is entitled to their own opinion. It's just that yours is stupid.
←Rate | 02-21-2010 10:37 by cj Comments (0)  

   messageicon The hardest part about business is minding your own.
←Rate | 08-30-2010 17:35 by CJ Comments (0)  

   messageicon Shirts get dirty. Underwear gets dirty. Pants? Pants never get dirty, and you can wear them forever.
←Rate | 02-17-2011 15:01 by CJ Comments (0)  

   messageicon Earthquake in Mexico. 50,000 dead. England sending money, France sending food, US sending Replacement Mexicans. Pack your sh!t up, you're going home.
←Rate | 04-13-2010 17:24 by cj Comments (9)  

   messageicon No more b!tch pills for YOU miss crabby A$$
←Rate | 03-10-2010 14:22 by cj Comments (0)  

   messageicon There cannot be a crisis next week. My schedule is already full.
←Rate | 07-07-2010 15:56 by CJ Comments (0)  

   messageicon Your face isn't a coloring book. Chill on the makeup!!
←Rate | 02-19-2012 12:37 by CJ Comments (0)  

   messageicon When a woman steals your husband, there is no better revenge than to let her keep him.
←Rate | 06-22-2012 10:54 by CJ Comments (0)  

   messageicon When my kids become wild and unruly, I use a nice, safe playpen. When they're finished, I climb out.
←Rate | 02-21-2011 11:58 by CJ Comments (0)  

   messageicon If you saw me in the back of a police car, what would you assume put me there?
←Rate | 08-11-2010 17:05 by CJ Comments (1)  

   messageicon Dear Yellow Pages delivery guy, Could you please just deliver those to my recycle bin......it'll save me a step.
←Rate | 01-04-2012 12:43 by CJ Comments (0)  

   messageicon I must confess...I want to get back with my ex..LOL just kidding! I would rather Sh*t in my hand and clap!!!
←Rate | 04-02-2013 01:51 by CJ Comments (0)  

   messageicon At least clean up the bathroom before taking your profile picture in there.
←Rate | 08-02-2011 12:32 by CJ Comments (0)  

   messageicon Why can't Horatio Caine figure out Dexter Morgan is a serial killer?
←Rate | 01-28-2011 18:59 by CJ Comments (0)  

   messageicon You never realize what you have until it's gone...toilet paper is a prime example!
←Rate | 03-01-2012 10:47 by CJ Comments (0)  

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