BEGO Funny Status Messages

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   messageicon Falling in love is like jumping off a very tall building. Your brain tells you - it's not a good idea, while your heart tells you - you can fly.
←Rate | 07-23-2010 23:51 by BEGO Comments (0)  

   messageicon Don’t try to rush me while waiting behind me at a Redbox, I will read what every movie is about…twice
←Rate | 01-08-2013 21:02 by BEGO Comments (1)  

   messageicon I swear, if Facebook changes their layout one more time, I'm going to post a status update about it & then use their site as much as always.
←Rate | 09-22-2011 17:33 by BEGO Comments (0)  

   messageicon ❒Single ❒Taken ✔ Unable to find love because my standards have been set unrealistically high after mentally dating a celebrity.
←Rate | 08-30-2011 23:10 by BEGO Comments (0)  

   messageicon How to scare burglars off. First, put pictures on the wall of you with a tiger. Second, put a cat litter box in your hall and sh$t in it.
←Rate | 03-02-2012 21:22 by BEGO Comments (0)  

   messageicon How come it takes so little time for a child who is afraid of the dark to become a teenager who wants to stay out all night?
←Rate | 05-03-2011 21:17 by BEGO Comments (0)  

   messageicon I hate when people take my glasses, put them on, and say, "Oh. You really can't see, huh?" NO s**t sherlock. You don't see other people taking other people's wheel chairs saying, "Oh. You really can't walk, huh?"
←Rate | 05-09-2011 21:52 by BEGO Comments (0)  

   messageicon First, love yourself. Everyone else, get in line.
←Rate | 08-07-2011 22:35 by BEGO Comments (0)  

   messageicon If a genie ever gives me three wishes, goodbye Kardashians.
←Rate | 06-01-2011 22:07 by BEGO Comments (0)  

   messageicon How the hell did Charles Manson get like 16 people to murd.r for him? I can't even get two kids to brush their teeth.
←Rate | 04-17-2011 23:08 by BEGO Comments (0)  

   messageicon Why is there an eject button on the DVD remote? I still have to get up and take the disc out. It's like having a remote to open the fridge
←Rate | 03-02-2012 21:26 by BEGO Comments (0)  

   messageicon When I was little, I used to watch the raindrops roll down the window and see which one "won"
←Rate | 06-20-2011 22:04 by BEGO Comments (0)  

   messageicon No matter what life brings you, always take a lesson from your dog.. Kick some grass over that s**t and move on.
←Rate | 01-26-2012 21:45 by BEGO Comments (0)  

   messageicon Don't you just hate it when the person you're Facebook-stalking never updates anything.
←Rate | 02-20-2012 21:22 by BEGO Comments (0)  

   messageicon Why the f$ck are you driving under the speed limit when you were in such a hurry to pull out in front of me?
←Rate | 09-18-2012 20:45 by BEGO Comments (0)  

   messageicon Phone on silent. 10 missed calls. Turns volume to loudest. Nobody calls All damn Day.
←Rate | 02-20-2012 21:25 by BEGO Comments (0)  

   messageicon When girls have a great night out, they talk about it for months. When guys have a great night out, that night will never be spoken of.
←Rate | 10-10-2012 22:17 by BEGO Comments (0)  

   messageicon Sea levels aren't rising due to global warming. They are rising due to the increase in obesity. The continents are actually sinking…
←Rate | 04-19-2012 21:07 by BEGO Comments (0)  

   messageicon Study finds that a man looks into a woman's eyes for 8.2 seconds if he is attracted to her, 4.5 seconds if he is not, and 0.0 seconds if she's a C-cup or above
←Rate | 01-22-2012 21:57 by BEGO Comments (0)  

   messageicon I don’t have instagram, so I thought you guys should know I had Starbucks this morning. The cup was super cool looking. I also saw a rainbow
←Rate | 04-05-2014 21:47 by BEGO Comments (1)  

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