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X Today is . . . the tomorrow you thought about yesterday.
X On my first day of school my parents dropped me off at the wrong nursery. There I was... surrounded by trees and bushes.
X earns a seven-figure salary. Unfortunately, there's a decimal point involved.
X If a baseball is hit out of the stadium, travels completely around the world, re-enters the stadium, and is caught by a fielder, is it a home run or an out?
X This status update is a test. It is only a test. Had it been an actual status update, you would have received further instructions on where to go and what to do.
X For sale : Twin beds, one hardly used.
X A Chicken Sandwich walks into a bar, and orders some food & beer. The bartender says: "Sorry, we don't serve food here".
X says out cow died so we don't need your bull
X Lost his mind somewhere.. If you find it please put it back in the gutter.
X Give me the strength to change the things I can, the grace to accept the things I cannot, and a great big bag of money.
X Broken guitar for sale - no strings attached.
X You're driving a car. It isn't a telephone booth, a beauty parlor or a restaurant...
X This status update is a test. It is only a test. Had it been an actual status update, you would have driven staight 2 Taco Bell & eaten a chalupa.
X It was all so different before everything changed.
X Every time you open your mouth, some idiot starts talking.
X Well, at least the war on the environment is going well...
X A lot of money is tainted. It taint yours and it taint mine.
X I think the real question by now is: What is a Klondike Bar going to do for me?
X says got rid of my vacuum cleaner. It was just gathering dust.
X says i'll be burger king and you'll be mcdonalds...ill be doing it my way and you'll be lovin it