Funny Status Messages Search

X Today is . . . the tomorrow you thought about yesterday.

<--Rate | Submitted: 05-24-2010 18:22 by Aaron Comments (0)

X On my first day of school my parents dropped me off at the wrong nursery. There I was... surrounded by trees and bushes.

<--Rate | Submitted: 05-24-2010 18:32 by Aaron Comments (0)

X earns a seven-figure salary. Unfortunately, there's a decimal point involved.

<--Rate | Submitted: 05-24-2010 18:33 by Aaron Comments (0)

X If a baseball is hit out of the stadium, travels completely around the world, re-enters the stadium, and is caught by a fielder, is it a home run or an out?

<--Rate | Submitted: 05-24-2010 18:39 by Aaron Comments (0)

X This status update is a test. It is only a test. Had it been an actual status update, you would have received further instructions on where to go and what to do.

<--Rate | Submitted: 05-24-2010 18:58 by Aaron Comments (0)

X For sale : Twin beds, one hardly used.

<--Rate | Submitted: 05-24-2010 19:52 by Aaron Comments (0)

X A Chicken Sandwich walks into a bar, and orders some food & beer. The bartender says: "Sorry, we don't serve food here".

<--Rate | Submitted: 05-24-2010 20:34 by Aaron Comments (0)

X says out cow died so we don't need your bull

<--Rate | Submitted: 05-26-2010 19:01 by Aaron Comments (0)

X Lost his mind somewhere.. If you find it please put it back in the gutter.

<--Rate | Submitted: 05-27-2010 01:26 by Aaron Comments (0)

X Give me the strength to change the things I can, the grace to accept the things I cannot, and a great big bag of money.

<--Rate | Submitted: 05-29-2010 21:31 by Aaron Comments (0)

X Broken guitar for sale - no strings attached.

<--Rate | Submitted: 05-31-2010 14:12 by Aaron Comments (0)

X You're driving a car. It isn't a telephone booth, a beauty parlor or a restaurant...

<--Rate | Submitted: 06-07-2010 00:07 by Aaron Comments (0)

X This status update is a test. It is only a test. Had it been an actual status update, you would have driven staight 2 Taco Bell & eaten a chalupa.

<--Rate | Submitted: 06-15-2010 05:32 by Aaron Comments (0)

X It was all so different before everything changed.

<--Rate | Submitted: 06-17-2010 14:38 by Aaron Comments (0)

X Every time you open your mouth, some idiot starts talking.

<--Rate | Submitted: 06-19-2010 19:33 by Aaron Comments (0)

X Well, at least the war on the environment is going well...

<--Rate | Submitted: 06-19-2010 19:34 by Aaron Comments (0)

X A lot of money is tainted. It taint yours and it taint mine.

<--Rate | Submitted: 06-19-2010 19:35 by Aaron Comments (0)

X I think the real question by now is: What is a Klondike Bar going to do for me?

<--Rate | Submitted: 06-19-2010 19:43 by Aaron Comments (0)

X says got rid of my vacuum cleaner. It was just gathering dust.

<--Rate | Submitted: 06-19-2010 19:45 by Aaron Comments (0)

X says i'll be burger king and you'll be mcdonalds...ill be doing it my way and you'll be lovin it

<--Rate | Submitted: 06-21-2010 13:45 by Aaron Comments (0)