Aaron Funny Status Messages



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   messageicon A friend of mine sent me a postcard with a satellite photo of the entire planet on it, and on the back he wrote, "Wish you were here."
←Rate | 04-13-2010 14:38 by Aaron Comments (0)  


   messageicon "Sir, could you please step out of the vehicle?" "I'm too drunk, Officer. You get in."
←Rate | 02-17-2012 20:51 by Aaron Comments (0)  


   messageicon My vegetarian friend could not understand why I brought a bottle of ketchup on our hiking trip. “In case we get lost.” He's slow. Tasty slow.
←Rate | 01-20-2012 22:31 by Aaron Comments (0)  


   messageicon as Vice-President of Toyota I would like to say please dial 1800-our-bad.
←Rate | 02-04-2010 18:02 by Aaron Comments (0)  




   messageicon Due to the shortage of great leaders, I have decided to follow myself.
←Rate | 03-20-2010 15:28 by Aaron Comments (0)  


   messageicon New documentary movie about white trash .... I only saw the trailer ....
←Rate | 07-31-2013 16:24 by Aaron Comments (0)  


   messageicon Honestly, I love every single some of you.
←Rate | 09-11-2010 09:01 by Aaron Comments (0)  


   messageicon "In this same office, firing you." - Best answer to the "where do you see yourself in 10 years?" job interview question.
←Rate | 02-15-2011 11:47 by Aaron Comments (0)  


   messageicon I better get to sleep. I have to get up early to call in sick to work.
←Rate | 10-25-2010 09:26 by Aaron Comments (0)  


   messageicon I hate people who say "Age is just a number" — Age is clearly a word.
←Rate | 11-29-2012 17:47 by Aaron Comments (0)  


   messageicon I knew she was about to say something intelligent because she began with, "You once told me..."
←Rate | 05-05-2013 12:32 by Aaron Comments (0)  


   messageicon Guess I better get some sleep. I have to get up in 10 minutes.
←Rate | 06-17-2012 14:38 by Aaron Comments (0)  


   messageicon Going to a concert tonight. Doors open at 7pm, according to the ticket. That's a pretty impressive opening act.
←Rate | 01-10-2013 08:19 by Aaron Comments (0)  


   messageicon Life is funny. Well, yours is. To me.
←Rate | 10-10-2010 08:37 by Aaron Comments (0)  


   messageicon I was escorted out of the funeral before I was done high fiving everyone.
←Rate | 10-06-2010 12:09 by Aaron Comments (0)  


   messageicon It's all fun and games until somebody loses an eye. Then it's a life of piracy on the high seas.
←Rate | 05-21-2012 19:27 by Aaron Comments (0)  


   messageicon someday i'll get that abacus. you can count on it
←Rate | 01-12-2013 13:58 by Aaron Comments (0)  


   messageicon It's time to do some stuff around the house. Sit around it... walk around it... lie around it...
←Rate | 08-26-2010 22:12 by Aaron Comments (0)  


   messageicon the answer to this last question will determine whether you are drunk or not....Was Mickey Mouse a cat or a dog?
←Rate | 03-19-2010 21:23 by Aaron Comments (0)  


   messageicon I can tell people are judgmental just by looking at them.
←Rate | 12-01-2012 17:22 by Aaron Comments (0)  



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