Lemonpillow Funny Status Messages



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   messageicon After undergoing a sex change operation, a judge in Santa Monica granted Chaz Bono's petition to be recognized legally as a man. He celebrated by leaving the toilet seat up.
←Rate | 05-08-2010 05:51 by lemonpillow Comments (0)  


   messageicon Reasons people claim to be gay: 3% - are actually gay 97% - forgot to log out of facebook
←Rate | 06-13-2012 20:43 by lemonpillow Comments (0)  


   messageicon ..is off to spend some quality time with her gf. Be back in two minutes! :-)
←Rate | 03-16-2010 04:41 by Lemonpillow Comments (0)  


   messageicon A text from my mate : "I'm guaranteed to shag the missus up the bum this weekend. She's dyslexic and think's it's Vaseline's Day."
←Rate | 02-13-2010 11:36 by Lemonpillow Comments (0)  


   messageicon Got a call from my mum. She wanted help with her jigsaw puzzle. I said "Sure thing,just look at picture on the front of the box.". "Its not helping"she said. "Its just a stupid rooster!" "Mum,you daft cow" said. "Just put the cornflakes back in the box."
←Rate | 02-18-2010 03:40 by Lemonpillow Comments (3)  


   messageicon so lazy, she'll fight that little stone in my shoe till the end of the day.
←Rate | 11-16-2009 13:45 by lemonpillow Comments (0)  


   messageicon Duran Duran have reworked one of their classic singles for the World Cup. It goes, 'His name is Rio and he watches from the stands...'
←Rate | 06-12-2010 13:14 by lemonpillow Comments (0)  


   messageicon This is a mean,cruel world & I want my nappy & medications right now!
←Rate | 02-25-2010 17:20 by Lemonpillow Comments (0)  


   messageicon This Halloween, I'll be handing out those little tiny candy bars. I think they're called bite-me sized.
←Rate | 10-31-2010 05:29 by lemonpillow Comments (0)  


   messageicon Life is like a p*nis, it's short but it seems so long when it gets hard.
←Rate | 06-02-2012 22:28 by lemonpillow Comments (0)  


   messageicon My friend has just been sacked from the jigsaw factory. She's in pieces.
←Rate | 11-15-2009 04:40 by lemonpillow Comments (0)  


   messageicon ..because Chinese New Year and Valentines Day fall on the same day this year,i think i'll celebrate both with a takeaway! How romantic. Lol.
←Rate | 02-12-2010 05:49 by Lemonpillow Comments (0)  


   messageicon Eight deaths in one year at a Chinese phone manufacturing plant? There's an App for that.
←Rate | 05-21-2010 08:35 by Lemonpillow Comments (0)  


   messageicon Hamsters are really stupid, but, I'm the girl spending money to keep one housed and fed, so, there you go.
←Rate | 03-21-2010 04:37 by lemonpillow Comments (0)  


   messageicon I was injured tap dancing. Broke my ankle when I fell into the sink.
←Rate | 04-18-2010 13:59 by lemonpillow Comments (0)  


   messageicon Friends are like computers : they enter into your life,saves you in their heart,formats your problems & never deletes you from their memory.
←Rate | 04-16-2010 07:33 by Lemonpillow Comments (0)  


   messageicon Can't remember the name of the last girl she slept with. It's on the tip of my tongue.
←Rate | 12-07-2009 07:00 by Lemonpillow Comments (0)  


   messageicon not a PC and your commercials are getting on my nerves.
←Rate | 04-27-2010 17:47 by Lemonpillow Comments (0)  


   messageicon A Bachelor is one who never chases a woman he couldn't outrun.
←Rate | 01-26-2010 02:16 by lemonpillow Comments (0)  


   messageicon ..thinks some people here have the mentality of a retarded turtle. But it's nice to see that monkeys can actually type these days. I knew that £2 a month I was donating towards the RSPCA would come to some good. Keyboard monkeys. Who'da thunk it?
←Rate | 01-09-2010 20:38 by Lemonpillow Comments (0)  




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