Lemonpillow Funny Status Messages



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   messageicon If you're having trouble with using the correct your/you're, just use “ur” because ur a moron!
←Rate | 01-26-2011 14:10 by lemonpillow Comments (2)  


   messageicon When I want to show off my best curves, I smile.
←Rate | 01-30-2011 10:30 by lemonpillow Comments (0)  


   messageicon Egyptian Pres. Mubarak refuses to heed calls to step down. He seems to be in denial--which coincidentally is where his body will be found if he doesn't resign.
←Rate | 02-01-2011 19:16 by lemonpillow Comments (0)  


   messageicon After four centuries, the semicolon has finally achieved it's true calling: helping people wink online. ;-)
←Rate | 02-02-2011 13:47 by lemonpillow Comments (0)  


   messageicon Internet Explorer - the best browser in the world for downloading Firefox.
←Rate | 02-02-2011 13:50 by lemonpillow Comments (0)  


   messageicon My next door neighbour's battery went in his Smart car today. I had to give him a jump start from my iPod.
←Rate | 02-02-2011 13:54 by lemonpillow Comments (0)  


   messageicon I'm never sure what to do with my eyes when I'm at the dentist. Do I close them? Do I stare at his face? Do I look at the ceiling? What's the proper etiquette here?
←Rate | 02-03-2011 13:41 by lemonpillow Comments (0)  


   messageicon We were without phone, TV and internet access for a few hours today. It was terrifying because I almost got some work done.
←Rate | 02-04-2011 12:40 by lemonpillow Comments (0)  


   messageicon My grandad has the heart of a lion and a lifetime ban from Edinburgh zoo.
←Rate | 02-05-2011 12:27 by lemonpillow Comments (0)  


   messageicon If there are ice cream vans in the summer, why cant we have Starbucks vans in the winter?
←Rate | 02-09-2011 18:10 by lemonpillow Comments (0)  


   messageicon Songs with sirens in them should not be allowed on the car radio as they trick me when i'm driving.
←Rate | 02-11-2011 13:47 by lemonpillow Comments (0)  


   messageicon Valentines day. Where nookie is only a box of chocolates away.
←Rate | 02-14-2011 15:47 by lemonpillow Comments (0)  


   messageicon First she wears a dress made from raw meat and now she arrives at the Grammys in a giant egg. I can't watch any more. My cholesterol level keeps going up.
←Rate | 02-14-2011 15:49 by lemonpillow Comments (0)  


   messageicon Tomorrow Facebook will change its settings to allow zombies to come into your house while you sleep & eat your brains with a sharpened spoon. To stop this from happening go to Accounts/Home Invasion Settings/Cannibalism/Brains & un-check the "Tasty" box.
←Rate | 02-15-2011 09:45 by lemonpillow Comments (0)  


   messageicon I'm searching Facebook for people named Hontas, just because I think it would be cool… to poke a Hontas.
←Rate | 02-24-2011 13:34 by lemonpillow Comments (0)  


   messageicon If you are ever wondering who is rapping in a song, just wait 4 more seconds and he'll say his name.
←Rate | 02-24-2011 13:35 by lemonpillow Comments (0)  


   messageicon BBC News: "Ice Cream Company Launches Breast Milk Flavoured Ice Cream". I wonder if they will be doing raspberry nipple.
←Rate | 02-25-2011 13:41 by lemonpillow Comments (0)  


   messageicon It's International Womens Day and I don't know why men are so upset . They have their own day too : Palm Sunday.
←Rate | 03-08-2011 12:08 by lemonpillow Comments (0)  


   messageicon If God had wanted you to talk more than listen, he would have given you two mouths and one ear.
←Rate | 03-13-2011 15:24 by lemonpillow Comments (0)  


   messageicon BBC News: AMERICA TO SEND 2 NUCLEAR EXPERTS TO JAPAN. The last time they sent "Nuclear Experts" to Japan, they killed 105,000 people...
←Rate | 03-13-2011 16:36 by lemonpillow Comments (0)  




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